"Ball four. That's his second walk of the inn-"
bbbbBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz
"They signed him out of Jefferson County Community -"
bbbbBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
"The Royals have driven in Kendall and De-"
bbbBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz
Welcome to my evening. As I attempt to take in the Royals game from the comfort of my couch, the analysis from Royals' broadcasters Ryan Lefebvre and Paul Splittorff is being continually interrupted by a buzz saw in the hallway outside my apartment. It's becoming a bit like the knock-knock joke about the interrupting cow. Just when you are focusing on what will come ne-
bbbbBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz*
*Please note: this is my best attempt to spell the sound that this saw is making in my hallway. I'm not sure it's entirely accurate, but I have not training in giving literary voice to power tools. If you have any better suggestions, feel free to comment below.
Considering the hour (7:34 p.m. CT), I'm not sure what Mr. Tool-time is doing cutting away in my hallway. It's a summer's eve. Go home and enjoy a beverage. Head out to the driving range imitate Jack Nicklaus instead of Bob Vila. Do anything else, just cut the saw story.
The fact that he's still working brings up an interesting point. My apartment complex is completing a thorough renovation; carpets are being replaced, new counter tops are being installed, and the breath-stifling smell of fresh paint has invaded the air like some form of chemosensical warfare. All in all, things should look pretty spiffy once things are complete.
... Well, they'll look spiffy in the apartments that currently house no residents.*
*This is actually a very large number. Either a lot of people moved on to new phases of their lives at once or I'm a horrible neighbor. (What? You think Mixmaster NoRhyme next door (who has not left) might be the annoying tenant around these parts? As he might say, "Yo, that's crazy. I will amaze ye. My favorite flower is a daisy."
You see, those apartments whose tenants have not moved away have the opportunity to stick with old carpeting, old counter tops, and the classic paint job we've grown so accustom to.
Odds are that I could have gotten the new carpeting and such if I had been willing to move my things out of my apartment for the summer. Of course, since I enjoy moving about as much as I enjoy doing my own dental work with medieval tools, the odds of that happening were slightly less than the odds of me going next door and having a rap battle with DJ D'oh.
The nice thing is that I get all the enjoyable parts of renovation (thought-crippling noise, allergy-inducing dust, and catcalls on top of catcalls*) without any of those pesky results.
*Okay, that last part is most definitely false. As far as I can tell, no one that might catcall after me (blind women with great sense of pity, mostly) are working on this renovation project.
bbbbBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz
"They signed him out of Jefferson County Community -"
bbbbBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
"The Royals have driven in Kendall and De-"
bbbBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzz
Welcome to my evening. As I attempt to take in the Royals game from the comfort of my couch, the analysis from Royals' broadcasters Ryan Lefebvre and Paul Splittorff is being continually interrupted by a buzz saw in the hallway outside my apartment. It's becoming a bit like the knock-knock joke about the interrupting cow. Just when you are focusing on what will come ne-
bbbbBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz*
*Please note: this is my best attempt to spell the sound that this saw is making in my hallway. I'm not sure it's entirely accurate, but I have not training in giving literary voice to power tools. If you have any better suggestions, feel free to comment below.
Considering the hour (7:34 p.m. CT), I'm not sure what Mr. Tool-time is doing cutting away in my hallway. It's a summer's eve. Go home and enjoy a beverage. Head out to the driving range imitate Jack Nicklaus instead of Bob Vila. Do anything else, just cut the saw story.
The fact that he's still working brings up an interesting point. My apartment complex is completing a thorough renovation; carpets are being replaced, new counter tops are being installed, and the breath-stifling smell of fresh paint has invaded the air like some form of chemosensical warfare. All in all, things should look pretty spiffy once things are complete.
... Well, they'll look spiffy in the apartments that currently house no residents.*
*This is actually a very large number. Either a lot of people moved on to new phases of their lives at once or I'm a horrible neighbor. (What? You think Mixmaster NoRhyme next door (who has not left) might be the annoying tenant around these parts? As he might say, "Yo, that's crazy. I will amaze ye. My favorite flower is a daisy."
You see, those apartments whose tenants have not moved away have the opportunity to stick with old carpeting, old counter tops, and the classic paint job we've grown so accustom to.
Odds are that I could have gotten the new carpeting and such if I had been willing to move my things out of my apartment for the summer. Of course, since I enjoy moving about as much as I enjoy doing my own dental work with medieval tools, the odds of that happening were slightly less than the odds of me going next door and having a rap battle with DJ D'oh.
The nice thing is that I get all the enjoyable parts of renovation (thought-crippling noise, allergy-inducing dust, and catcalls on top of catcalls*) without any of those pesky results.
*Okay, that last part is most definitely false. As far as I can tell, no one that might catcall after me (blind women with great sense of pity, mostly) are working on this renovation project.
No comments:
Post a Comment