Tuesday, November 20, 2007

(Insert Title Here)

It has been nearly a month since I have entered any text in this electronic medium designated for that very purpose. The sad thing is, I'm not exactly brimming with mind-blowing ideas for this space tonight. As a result, what follows is a completely original idea - random thoughts and observations put into readable word as I sit in front of the television (that's surely never been done before, has it?).

Telemundo - Your one-stop shop for cheesy mustaches
I'm not sure that requires any further explanation... Just a straight fact.

Pet Peeve - Text and Instant Messaging Lingo (note: Try to find some additional nuisances to Derek Larson in the following paragraph. Be sure your eye is keen... they're hidden very well)
"Where r u?"
I guess it shouldn't be a surprise that, as someone who pretends to be a writer now and then, I think the above phrases are making a mockery of are language and leading to a future where business letters are written as if they were a 15-year-old's text message about Hillary Duff (I obviously have no clue about what kids are into these days... Is Coolio still cool?). Is it so hard to to type full words? I guess those few seconds it would take to type four extra letters are probably better spent yapping on a phone in every conceivable public setting, or walking through doors and then letting them slam in the faces of those behind you.
To further blow this entire issue out of proportion, I would also like to dig deeper into the nature of "LOL." For those of you who find such a combination of letters foreign (lucky folks), it stands for Laughing Out Loud. I'm concerned with this abbreviation not just due to the laziness of shortening the phrase into a 21st Century cliche, but also due to the fact that I think it's breeding dishonesty. I have reason to believe that a great amount of people use "LOL" for situations other than when a spark of hilarity strikes them in such a fashion as to prompt a vocalization of laughter. In fact, I believe "LOL" has been used even in cases that warrant a simple polite smile.
I don't ask for much when it comes to this issue... all I request is that "LOL" be banished and people fully describe their reactions in events that would previously have drawn the "LOL" response. Suppose a friend makes a comment that isn't nearly as funny as they think and you just want to move on, but you know they're looking for a response from you. Instead of igniting the flames of dishonestly with "LOL," you simply type "smiling uneasily while trying to think of a way to change the subject." I think it makes perfect sense.

Concerning the sports world...
Football (K-State, Kansas City, fantasy, and all other forms) - Ugh... Any season in which K-State is struggling to be bowl eligible, KU is a national title contender, Kansas City can be ruled out of games in which the opponent scores in double-digits and my fantasy teams win as often as an arithmetically challenged individual in blackjack is a football season that results in borderline depression in my world.
Basketball - This has been discussed in this space before, but Michael Beasley is good... Very good... Potential No. 1 draft pick good. Current concerns about his "supporting cast" will be noted, but I think will be resolved shortly. It's only natural that the meshing of several new players and a new coach might take some time. It seems that the Wildcats have been playing to the level of their competition thus far. Granted, the true test of that will come this week in Orlando, but look for K-State to make some noise while in Mickey Mouse's neighborhood.
Baseball - The Royals have been mentioned as a player in the Torii Hunter sweepstakes. Granted, I wouldn't bet my bottom dollar (partially because I don't know exactly what that phrase is referring to) that he ends up patrolling centerfield in Kauffman Stadium, but the simple fact that they're even considered an option for a top free agent like Hunter means they're climbing out of the pit I like to call the Neifi-zone.

Final note
The world is officially going insane - http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22761386-2,00.html.
Taking away an icon's long-standing signature phrase because it bears similarities to some current American slang seems far beyond absurd. On top of that, I've never found Santa Claus to be "funny ha-ha," anyway.