It means calendars everywhere will be rendered obsolete.
It means millions of people will waste valuable seconds correcting themselves when they accidentally write or type 2008 instead of 2009; seconds they could be using to read some Writings... and then close their web browsers in either disgust or confusion.
It also means that you will see "year in review" articles and programs just about everywhere you look. They will be more prevalent than awkward conversations with people you barely know during a trip to the local market. You will see so many rehashes of 2008 that you'll feel like you've gone ventured to the past in a time-traveling phone booth (or a Delorean, if you prefer). By the time February hits, you'll be so sick of hearing about 2008 that you'll consider holding Punxsutawney Phil hostage to get the madness to end.
With that said, I really can't think of a better segue into the second-annual The Writings Year in Review.*
*Editor's note: We at The Writings do not condone groundhognapping.
The year started off in fine fashion for the author, along with thousands of others that bleed purple. (Figuratively, not literally. I do not know whether my blood type is B-positive or O-negative, but I do know that it's not "O-crap-how-did-my-blood-get-this-color"). On January 30, the K-State Wildcats topped the Kansas Jayhawks at Bramlage Coliseum, marking the first time such an event had ever occurred. It was a magical night in the Little Apple, as Michael Beasley led the 'cats to the 84-75 victory.
Daniel Day-Lewis wins an Academy Award for his uncanny ability to make the idea of drinking milkshakes both comical and creepy at the same time. There Will Be Blood was nominated for eight Academy Awards, but received no recognition for Best Alternate Title - There Will Be a Long, Long Story About Drilling for Oil... Make Sure You Visit the Restroom Beforehand.
India defeats Australia in cricket to win the Commonwealth Bank Series. The American reaction is dizzying. Millions blink in response. Others offer confused looks and ask the nearest person how people can train crickets to play sports.
The NFL Draft took place, and popular opinion was that the Kansas City Chiefs were one of the most successful teams in selecting draft picks over the two-day period. Eight months later, 14 losses would prove that popular opinion means about as much as a bit of catnip in a tiger attack. In effort to properly demonstrate cause-and-effect relationships to young fans, the Chiefs also traded defensive end Jared Allen (15.5 sacks in 2007). They ended the 2008 season by setting an NFL record for fewest sacks by a team in a season (10).
May lasted 31 days, as is custom.
... What? That's not news?
Also, the Phoenix lander arrived at Mars... unfortunately, minutes after landing, it remembered that it had left the front door unlocked at home.
Ice landed yet another blow in the ongoing conflict with the author, cracking his windshield in the midst of a severe hailstorm. Attempts to strike back by the author were rendered moot when grocery store personnel prevented him from unplugging all the freezers in the frozen food aisle.
A trip across America's northern border was largely uneventful until news arrived that the author was officially an uncle. While ideas of hitchhiking back to Kansas as quickly as possible were considered, responsibility won the battle and the new uncle waited until his work was done before heading homeward. Upon being introduced, the newest addition to the family turned the author into putty in her diminutive hands in approximately 0.7 seconds.
The NFL preseason began and the every third word spoken by NFL broadcasters was some form of "Favre." It was like every sportscaster had come down with some sort of wacked-out version of Tourette's syndrome. Unconfirmed reports (made up by me) even said that the NFL was considering changing the name of the sport it competes in from football to Favreball.
Alas, outside forces* will not allow me to complete the year in review in one Writing. Stay tuned for part two.
*Outside forces include - but may not be limited to - deciding on New Year's Eve plans with seven-and-a-half hours left in the the current calendar year. Who says I don't plan ahead?