When it comes to the world that we live in, there are plenty of subjects of which I am ignorant.
Who led the English Premier League in goals in 2006? No clue.
What is the best way to make a delectable creme brulee? I haven't the slightest idea.
What is any female thinking at any given time? That's obviously beyond my comprehension.
Who was Bread's lead singer? (Insert clueless expression here).
My lack of knowledge is readily apparent, but I recently figured out that I do know at least one thing - and I'm certain of it.
Please prepare to write this down... I'll give you time to grab something to write with. Seriously, get a pen, pencil, marker, or finger dipped in pudding. I'll pass the time by listing all the shows on MTV that I deem worthwhile:
We'll start with... well...
...hmmm...
... 3 South?... No, they canceled that years ago...
... I Love the 80s?... Nope, that's VH1...
... Wow, this is proving difficult...
Hey, look at that! You've found a writing utensil! (If you are currently holding a Ritz cracker, I'm sorry, but you'll have to make it work.)
Anyway, I hope you're ready for a piece of advice to carry with you for the rest of your Earthly journey. Here it is:
The shelf life of a Twizzler Pull-n-Peel is significantly shorter than the seven months and 18 days that have passed since last Halloween.
How I came about this ground-breaking information is no one's business but my own.
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