Thursday, February 19, 2009

Readers Guide to the 2009 Royals - Part 1

Although the calendar may not support this statement, Spring is finally here... Well, according to Major League Baseball anyway. Spring Training for all 30 Major League Baseball teams started this week, and with it comes a period of unbridled optimism at The Writings base of operations (i.e., a couch that has its natural floral design discreetly hidden by a slipcover from Target... The Writings: We're all business). With a slate of 162 regular season games approaching, it's an annual tradition for me to get my hopes up about "my team" the Kansas City Royals around this time of year... Unfortunately, in the past it has often been an annual tradition to realize how feeble my hopes were around the end of May each year.

Nevertheless, the Royals have shown improvement as of late, and could potentially be a contender in their division this season - something that hasn't happened since a near-miraculous 2003 season. Do you think "near-miraculous is overstating things? Tony Pena was Manager of the Year. Think again.

I realize that at least a portion of the readership of The Writings doesn't really give a fistful of sunflower seeds about baseball.* You're the same folks who are wondering who the heck Tony Pena is right now and wondering what that statement was even supposed to mean. Alas, this poses a problem. You see, I like baseball. Odds are, I will feel the urge to write about baseball at times during the upcoming season. As a result, I need you to at least develop a passing interest in (or at least a tolerance for) baseball. Otherwise, those baseball posts will go unread, and what's a blog without readers? (If you said, "The Writings," you're close... and a smartass.)

*I also realize it's a pretty big stretch to say The Writings has a "readership" at all. Please, don't hold my delusions against me.

In effort to familiarize you with the names you may be reading later on this year, we're doing a quick (ha, yeah right) rundown of several members of the 2009 Royals. In Part 1 we're covering position players; Part 2 will be pitchers; Part 3 may involve mascots and snack vendors. (Note: Forget you ever heard about Part 3.) Read the list of Royals, commit it to memory, and embrace them as your own. (Or at least pretend to read it while contemplating how many bottlecaps you could balance on your "all the way home" toe, I'll never know the difference.)

Miguel Olivo - A catcher who signed with KC in 2007, Olivo once - as a member of the Florida Marlins - charged a runner that was standing on third base. Olivo took a big swing at the runner, but failed to connect. The same could often be said of Olivo in the batter's box, as he hit 12 home runs last season, but struck out 82 times.

John Buck - The second half of the Royals' catching duo, Buck was part of the trade that saw Carlos Beltran shipped to the Houston Astros in 2004. Not to be outdone by Olivo, Buck has also been involved in fisticuffs at the ballpark. However, Buck took things to another level, sparring with Runelvys Hernandez - the very pitcher that was tossing to him that game.

Mike Jacobs - A slugger in the truest sense, this first baseman hit 32 home runs for Florida last season. He came to KC via trade and is expected to barrage the Kauffman Stadium fountains with a number of batted balls the stadium walls cannot contain. Unfortunately, the term "slugger" does not say much about defense.

Billy Butler - A 22-year-old who has put up remarkable hitting numbers at every level he's played at, one thing Billy hasn't been able to do is find a position. He was drafted as a third baseman, but later moved to the outfield. After some adventures in the land of fly balls, he moved to first base, where he'll play in 2009 (unless he's in the designated hitter spot). The 6-1, 240-pounder has reportedly shown up at Spring Training in the best shape of his young life.

Ross Gload - Mention his name to a Royals fan and, odds are, the word "grit" might come up. For better or for worse, Gload is a gritty player. The type who may not have the most talent, but will be caked in dirt before the game starts and will play wherever you ask him to... Unfortunately, when worded like that, "grit" also seems to describe an old little league teammate of mine that would sit down in the outfield during games and play with the grass.
 
Willie Bloomquist - When signed this past offseason, it seemed Bloomquist - who has played seven of the nine positions on the diamond in his seven-year career - was being brought in as a sort of "supersub" (please note: supersub does not refer to any sort of aquatic vehicle piloted by Superman); as a player to back up all positions. As the season nears, it sounds as if he has a legitimate shot at being the starting second baseman. He's a slick fielder, but has about as much power as an electric toothbrush. Need evidence? He had exactly one more extra-base hit last season than my six-month-old niece.

Alex Gordon - This former Cornhusker came to Kansas City expected to be the "real deal," the "next big thing," and just about every other cliche that refers to something with grand expectations. While Gordon has not ascended to an All-Star caliber level yet, he's shown flashes of such talent. If Kansas City is to become a contender in the future, Gordon is expected to be a big part of that improvement.  

Mike Aviles - The Royals' 2008 Player of the Year, Aviles didn't even make his debut until the end of May. After going 0-3 in his first game, Aviles didn't even see the field again until seven games later. Fortunately for Aviles (and for Royals fans tired of seeing Tony Pena, Jr.'s feeble attempts at swinging the bat) he took control of the starting shortstop job from that point on. Aviles finished fourth in American League Rookie of the Year voting.

David DeJesus - The resident heartthrob for at least one Royals tolerater I know, DeJesus is moving to left field full-time this season after playing centerfield for much of his career. DeJesus is kind of the anti-box of chocolates of the Royals, in that you can be fairly sure of what you're going to get: solid defense, a batting average hovering around .300, and decent run production.

Coco Crisp - The Royal whose name you might expect to see on a cereal box came to Kansas City via trade this offseason. Regarded as an excellent defensive outfielder, Crisp will man centerfield for the Royals and is expected to bat leadoff. Whether or not he'll consider changing his last name to "Cola" is anyone's guess. (You knew some sort of horrible joke playing off his name was coming, but did you expect that one? The Writings: We take pride in cringe-worthy attempts at humor.)

Jose Guillen - While the word "journeyman" may be overused in sports, it fits Guillen like a floppy foam finger. In his 12-year career, Guillen has played for nine different teams. His bat can be a difference-maker when he's hot at the plate (hitting well... this has nothing to do with food lust), but his attitude can be a detriment. Last season, Guillen nearly came to blows with a fan in his home stadium. What this fan may not have been aware of is Guillen's toughness, which is well illustrated by this recent event.

Mark Teahen - The "I can't because I'm going to my grandma's funeral" of baseball, Teahen has been tried about everywhere. He came to KC via the Beltran trade as a third baseman, moved to right field with the arrival of Gordon, left field with the arrival of Guillen, and has also seen time at first base and centerfield. Naturally, this spring he's getting a shot at second base. It may only be a matter of time before he's working as team trainer and part-time color commentator.


Keep an eye out for Part 2... The Pitchers

(insert dramatic musical theme of choice here...)

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