Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Lessons Learned From Those Under 20 (pounds)

I spent the weekend visiting some family. This visit included ample time spent with a pug who can be a bit onery* and my ever-growing niece.**

*He is - as far as I know - the only living being (I can't speak for the undead) to complete a "daily double" (loving term in the family for a part of life not so lovely) while serving as passenger in a vehicle I was driving.

**February 2009 winner of The Writings' "Coolest/Cutest 6-month-old alive" award... Quite an accomplishment. Congratulations!


It's only fitting that, although I arrived intending to teach a few things (Who knew that teaching someone to crawl, sit-up, talk, walk, make macaroni and cheese, find Waldo, parallel park, fly a kite, write haiku poetry, and split the atom all in one weekend was beyond my expertise?) to those with developing minds, they instead left me as the one with an abundance of new knowledge.

What lessons can one learn from someone who enjoys eating stray leaves that end up in the house (the dog) and someone who just started on solid foods (mmmmm.... solids) a few weeks ago (not the dog)? Consider the following (and if you cannot distinguish whether any particular lesson was learned from the baby or the dog, you may want to put off the whole parenting thing for awhile):

- When one has recently cut a pair of new teeth, it is best to break them in by continually biting human fingers.*

*The identity of the owner of any fingers in question is somewhat irrelevant. Any fingers will do.

- When venturing into a brisk breeze while on a constitutional, it's best to take advantage of the larger being accompanying you by walking behind them and using them as a shield from the wind.

- The best way to avoid the regular hassles, nuisances, and generally odd occurrences that come with a trip to the local Wal-Mart is by sleeping through the whole trip.

- The utterance of the word "treat" followed by the dispersal of said treat can patch up just about any rift.

- Sometimes nothing is funnier than watching a hand moving back and forth on a blanket.

- All visitors are unwelcome ones until they come through the door. As a result, standard barking procedure will be initiated upon the first ring of any doorbell.

- The tags of orange stuffed bunnies (that may or may not be named after a childhood cafeteria item) are worth studying for minutes on end.

- When someone is sleeping on your couch, it's best to show them you enjoy their presence by jumping on them, walking on them while sniffling and snorting, and then sneezing on their face.

- Exersaucing is worth shouting about.

- The new addition to the family is great, as long as it doesn't get close enough to grab large chunks fur.

- The best way to show your dog how much you love it is by reaching toward it, swinging your little arms wildly, and eventually grabbing chunks of fur.


Who knew one could learn so much from the smallest members of the family? Imagine the lessons that will present themselves once one of the diminutive duo begins to talk.

... (Not the dog.)

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