Monday, November 10, 2008

People in your Neighborhood - The two random folks edition

What happens when one particular location doesn't provide enough material for a Writing examining the ins and outs of those you encounter everyday? You improvise.

Don't get confused, I'm not going to ask member's of the audience to name an occupation and a location (partially because I have no audience and partially because it's rather difficult to have live interaction with web readers while writing). Instead, I'm just going to cheat the system a bit, and not focus on one particular location for this edition of People in Your Neighborhood. (Then again, it's my system, so I can determine whether or not I'm cheating... If you're editing text while reading this (keep your red pen handy), feel free to mark out the previous, non-parenthetical sentence.)

The guy at the grocery store who is a little too excited about a certain item in the frozen food aisle
If I had to venture a guess, I would say I purchase more food of the frozen dinner variety than most individuals. As someone who may occasionally struggle with motivation once he's planted on his couch in the evening (once in couch mode, devoting the effort to putting out a fire might depend on how content I was with the room's temperature), the frozen meals provide pretty simple forms of sustenance. If I was eating dinners with less prep time, I'd eating Playdough straight from the can. 

I may eat more frozen meals than most arctic foxes, but I try to keep a level head about them. Sure, some are decently tasty and satisfying, but I'm not going to go boasting about the food to anyone in particular... This guy was different. While I checked out the chilled culinary items, he regaled his shopping companion with tales of a frozen chicken pot pie. If one were to take his word for it, this guy apparently found the Holy Grail of chicken stew contained in a pie crust. No, he never went as far as saying the pot pie could give the gift of eternal life, but he did refer to the dish as "addictively delicious" in a tone normally used by eight-year-olds talking about their new bikes.

Perhaps I misconstrued his enthusiasm, and it was actually a cry for help. After all, addiction is never a good thing, even when the subject of said addiction is fowl in a crust.


The guy with inappropriately sheathed feet
I once wrote of how I disapprove of the idea of wearing flip flops with long pants. Two years later, I have not flip-flopped (clever, I know) on this issue. Alas, the aforementioned Writing was written in effort to sway the continued progression of a fall-weather fashion. My protest has proven unsuccessful, but I always assumed that people would be smart enough to not even consider such fashions upon the arrival of brisk winter breezes.

As is often the case, I was wrong.

With temperatures floating in the 30s the last few days, I have witnessed a couple different portrayals of Mr. Coldtoes. The motivation for adorning flip-flops in such weather has proven to be a subject my mind cannot comprehend. When outside for extended periods of time in the winter, there's little I despise more than the rapid chilling of extremities. Having my toes cool to the point of physical pain is certainly not something I'd volunteer for, yet it seems Mr. Chillyfoot is signing up for such duty every time he slides those sandals on.

Honestly, if the weather gets much cooler, Jonny Birkenstock is flirting with frostbite. At that point, wearing flip flops in the cold weather is somewhat akin to going scuba diving in a suit washed in a bucket of chum.

Then again, I guess Eddie Toecicles may just be preparing to play the abominable snowman in the live stage production of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (casting, production, and creation pending).

1 comment:

little apple tally said...

While awaiting the shuttle this morning in 40 degree light rain, I was joined by a toughie clad in Bermuda shorts, a Hawaiian short-sleeved shirt and leather sandals (not flip-flops but open sides and toes). As I was snuggling my flannel lined coat hood up around my neck and ears, he didn't even appear to shiver. Go figure!