Thoughts while trying to convince myself that frustratingly lengthy waits at fast food drive-thru windows are not signs of a crumbling society. (A 10-minute wait for a few tacos? Aaaaaahhhhhhh!)
-Whoever wrote the lyrics to "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" certainly did not conjure them while risking his or her neck trying to survive a trip through their local mall parking lot on the Saturday before Christmas. After all, there's no muffled cursing in the song.
-Does it make any sense whatsoever that eggnog became associated with winter holidays? Forgive me, but drinking this concoction that sounds as if it was created by a very confused farmer does not bring to mind thoughts of manger miracles or jolly old St. Nick. (Unless the drink is the reason Santa has a weight problem.)
-I can't figure out why the word "merry" is only used in holiday speak. Have you ever used the word "merry" in a conversation that was not linked to Christmas? If so, odds are you got a funny look for your efforts. You know, the same look you get if you suggest that The Love Guru marks the height of cinematic comedy or that rabid guinea pigs will be the next big thing in American pets. (Take that, dogs so small you can fit them in handbags!)
-Of all the arctic animals, why were reindeer chosen as Santa's beasts of burden? Wouldn't arctic terns have made a lot more sense? They actually have the wings to fly. (However, it would probably take quite a few of them to pull a sleigh, so any rhymes list all their names would be pretty lengthy...) If they were sold on taking the land mammal route, why choose the reindeer ahead of other options? They didn't think "Cleburne the red-nosed caribou" would catch on?
-Whoever wrote the lyrics to "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year" certainly did not conjure them while risking his or her neck trying to survive a trip through their local mall parking lot on the Saturday before Christmas. After all, there's no muffled cursing in the song.
-Does it make any sense whatsoever that eggnog became associated with winter holidays? Forgive me, but drinking this concoction that sounds as if it was created by a very confused farmer does not bring to mind thoughts of manger miracles or jolly old St. Nick. (Unless the drink is the reason Santa has a weight problem.)
-I can't figure out why the word "merry" is only used in holiday speak. Have you ever used the word "merry" in a conversation that was not linked to Christmas? If so, odds are you got a funny look for your efforts. You know, the same look you get if you suggest that The Love Guru marks the height of cinematic comedy or that rabid guinea pigs will be the next big thing in American pets. (Take that, dogs so small you can fit them in handbags!)
-Of all the arctic animals, why were reindeer chosen as Santa's beasts of burden? Wouldn't arctic terns have made a lot more sense? They actually have the wings to fly. (However, it would probably take quite a few of them to pull a sleigh, so any rhymes list all their names would be pretty lengthy...) If they were sold on taking the land mammal route, why choose the reindeer ahead of other options? They didn't think "Cleburne the red-nosed caribou" would catch on?
No comments:
Post a Comment