Monday, January 12, 2009

Things I Don't Understand - the January Garage Sale

After a thorough study of a 2009 calendar I received for Christmas, I have come to the conclusion that we currently sit (or stand, if you prefer) in the month of January. Recollection of past months bearing the same name, plus a few recent trips outside, have reminded me that, in Kansas, this first month of the year is usually a chilly one. With such thoughts in my head, I find a sight I noticed yesterday even more perplexing.

Driving along a side-street to my apartment I noticed a home with a smattering of tables out in front of it, all sheathed in a collections of trivial items. It seems the owner of the home was either having a garage* sale or some very organized burglars were cleaning the place out.

*Or "car-hole" if you run a tavern in Springfield.


I realize January 11 was an unseasonably warm day in my Midwestern home, but I still find the timing of the aforementioned sale mind-boggling.

You see, it seems that most garage sales involve premeditation. In my experiences with non-literal garage sales (I have never been a part of a literal garage sale... people usually prefer to have houses included in the deal), those serving at the merchant end prefer to plan the sale weeks ahead. That provides time to prepare and advertise. Such preparations normally lead the sales folk to plan Spring or Summer sales, so that the weather they encounter might be more conducive to outdoor activity. Planning a winter sale weeks ahead, hoping for an unseasonably pleasant day, is a bit of risky business. If the sellers missed out on the meteorological jackpot, they could have had Frosty's Kansas cousins (they're mentioned in the third part of the epic Frosty trilogy... believe me) taking cash and making sure no-one pick-pocketed anything.

These neighbors of mine seemed to have other ideas. They seized the sunny winter day, loaded rows of junk onto six-foot tables, and opened their brown-lawned superstore for business. I trust they were not dismayed by the fact that number of potential customers checking out the merchandise on their grassy plain was a particularly round one that rhymes with "hero." I'm also sure that they were not downtrodden by the fact that, on this January day when people don't expect a garage sale to take place (and during which people who choose to enjoy the weather probably won't do it by sifting through the used pogs and "Dole in '96" t-shirts of others), I may have very well sold as many belongings out of my second-story window (again, zero... believe it or not) as they did in their "organized" sale.

Maybe I'm missing the whole point. Maybe they had no choice but to get rid of loads and loads of random belongings. Perhaps their floors were threatening collapse from the burden of too much weight. Maybe they have dreamt premonitions of being robbed and losing everything and want to beat the larcenous fiends to the punch. Or maybe these folks just were not fortunate enough to receive a 2009 calendar for Christmas and didn't realize what month it was. Here's to hoping that any money they gained from it (maybe they found some spare change among the trivia) is used to get a new calendar.

1 comment:

little apple tally said...

Actually drove by the afore mentioned garage sale Sunday afternoon, I think. And believe it or not, there were quite a few shoppers. In fact, we almost stopped and looked ourselves.

It struck me as strange planning that may have gone lucky with the warm day. Which would have beaten those hot summer sales!!!