It's Monday afternoon and I'm prepped to watch K-State basketball. Yes, this is a unique situation. Though the 4:30 p.m. game time has a strong high school junior varsity feel to it, I'm fairly confident this game between Kansas State and Missouri will be quite a showcase of skill and intensity and not resemble the sort of game that finds players ogling Maxim magazine in the locker room at halftime.* Whatever the case, I'm in my home office (read: lounging on my couch with my feet propped up on the coffee table) and ready to document all the thoughts on the proceedings that are fit to print (and many that should probably never leave the recesses of my mind). Join me, won't you?
*Inside joke of such insiderness that it's practically hiding in the house's safe room. If you have never known a kid nicknamed "Newbie" I don't recommend attempting to understand it.
- Pregame, a Mentos commercial ends with the request "Like us at Facebook..." I am still new to the world of marketing campaigns, but doesn't begging for people to "like" you come off as a bit needy? I know it's never worked when I've used it as the opening line on a date.
- This game marks Curtis Kelly's second game back from accepting "impermissable benefits" (which, as far as I know, is not the name of an alt rock band... yet). It's Jacob Pullen's fifth game back. Cameras showed well-dressed Missouri fans with signs reading "Pullen: We paid for our suits." Clever? Yes. Chances that it will be imitated at every other Big 12 arena that KSU plays at, receiving more pub than the overweight fans that dance in techno fashion? Very, very strong.
- Freshman Shane Southwell picks up two blocked shots in the first three-and-a-half minutes of the game. Southwell is starting for the second time in his career. He's a wiry wing player, but plays solid defense. My theory behind his promotion is that he plays the role Dominique Sutton played last season, providing a defensive stopper on the perimeter. Let's hope this doesn't mean that Southwell will be playing for North Carolina Central next season.
- Seven minutes in, our game is interrupted by what must be a very important Home Depot commercial. You need new shingles. You really do.
- Minutes later, the talking heads at ESPN reveal that there's been a power outage in the production truck in Columbia, Mo. It's 2011, isn't there an app for that?
- To kill time until the broadcast signal from Missouri is back up and running, we see highlights of the previous game (Villanova and UConn) plus a postgame interview.
- The video of the broadcast returns, but we're without the audio from the game announcers, meaning game commentary is provided by the folks in the home studio at ESPN. Please note that these folks are clueless as to much of anything relating to this game. Apparently I should value play-by-play announcers more than I typically do.
- Back to regular broadcasting, it's time for a KU love-fest from the game's broadcasting duo, despite the fact that this game features Kansas' biggest rivals. Forget what I said about valuing play-by-play announcers.
- From a commercial, I've learned that doubt of his abilities has fueled Tim Tebow's motivation for years. Guess what, Tim? I still doubt you're going to get me to buy that energy drink.
- Pullen's first field goal comes 14 minutes into the game. K-State trails by seven. Yeah, there's certainly no correlation there.
- The game's commentators just decided that Pullen was Robin to Denis Clemente's Batman last season. There's a mental image that is going to have me chuckling for awhile. I hope they flesh this analogy out so that we can determine which Batman characters the rest of K-State's players last season were. Of particular interest, who was The Penguin?
- They didn't. Jerks.
- I could really use an extended soliloquy on Batman, as this game turned depressing. Cats trail 43-28 at the half and they are handling the basketball with the care of nearsighted polar bear.*
*Would a nearsighted polar bear be particularly bad at caring for a basketball? I assume so... I don't know. Obviously bad basketball wreaks havoc on my ability to craft a proper simile.
- With horrible basketball currently being observed, it's the executive
decision of The Writings' editorial board that this Writing must be
brought to a swift end. After all, it could be the confounding things
contained within that are throwing Kansas State off kilter and making
them look an awful lot like the JV teams I referenced earlier. (When
basketball looks this poor, one goes to extreme measures to end such
struggles.)
*Inside joke of such insiderness that it's practically hiding in the house's safe room. If you have never known a kid nicknamed "Newbie" I don't recommend attempting to understand it.
- Pregame, a Mentos commercial ends with the request "Like us at Facebook..." I am still new to the world of marketing campaigns, but doesn't begging for people to "like" you come off as a bit needy? I know it's never worked when I've used it as the opening line on a date.
- This game marks Curtis Kelly's second game back from accepting "impermissable benefits" (which, as far as I know, is not the name of an alt rock band... yet). It's Jacob Pullen's fifth game back. Cameras showed well-dressed Missouri fans with signs reading "Pullen: We paid for our suits." Clever? Yes. Chances that it will be imitated at every other Big 12 arena that KSU plays at, receiving more pub than the overweight fans that dance in techno fashion? Very, very strong.
- Freshman Shane Southwell picks up two blocked shots in the first three-and-a-half minutes of the game. Southwell is starting for the second time in his career. He's a wiry wing player, but plays solid defense. My theory behind his promotion is that he plays the role Dominique Sutton played last season, providing a defensive stopper on the perimeter. Let's hope this doesn't mean that Southwell will be playing for North Carolina Central next season.
- Seven minutes in, our game is interrupted by what must be a very important Home Depot commercial. You need new shingles. You really do.
- Minutes later, the talking heads at ESPN reveal that there's been a power outage in the production truck in Columbia, Mo. It's 2011, isn't there an app for that?
- To kill time until the broadcast signal from Missouri is back up and running, we see highlights of the previous game (Villanova and UConn) plus a postgame interview.
- The video of the broadcast returns, but we're without the audio from the game announcers, meaning game commentary is provided by the folks in the home studio at ESPN. Please note that these folks are clueless as to much of anything relating to this game. Apparently I should value play-by-play announcers more than I typically do.
- Back to regular broadcasting, it's time for a KU love-fest from the game's broadcasting duo, despite the fact that this game features Kansas' biggest rivals. Forget what I said about valuing play-by-play announcers.
- From a commercial, I've learned that doubt of his abilities has fueled Tim Tebow's motivation for years. Guess what, Tim? I still doubt you're going to get me to buy that energy drink.
- Pullen's first field goal comes 14 minutes into the game. K-State trails by seven. Yeah, there's certainly no correlation there.
- The game's commentators just decided that Pullen was Robin to Denis Clemente's Batman last season. There's a mental image that is going to have me chuckling for awhile. I hope they flesh this analogy out so that we can determine which Batman characters the rest of K-State's players last season were. Of particular interest, who was The Penguin?
- They didn't. Jerks.
- I could really use an extended soliloquy on Batman, as this game turned depressing. Cats trail 43-28 at the half and they are handling the basketball with the care of nearsighted polar bear.*
*Would a nearsighted polar bear be particularly bad at caring for a basketball? I assume so... I don't know. Obviously bad basketball wreaks havoc on my ability to craft a proper simile.
- With horrible basketball currently being observed, it's the executive
decision of The Writings' editorial board that this Writing must be
brought to a swift end. After all, it could be the confounding things
contained within that are throwing Kansas State off kilter and making
them look an awful lot like the JV teams I referenced earlier. (When
basketball looks this poor, one goes to extreme measures to end such
struggles.)
No comments:
Post a Comment