Thursday, January 06, 2011

2010... I remember it like it was just (insert appropriate number of days ago here)

Previously on the 2010 year in review: Lies were told, John Locke hunted a boar, Cylons disguised themselves as humans, and Jack Bauer went yet another hour without a bathroom break. (The Writings: We're confused already.)

July
The Kansas City Royals traded starting second baseman Alberto Callaspo, starting outfielders Scott Podsednik and Rick Ankiel, and relief pitcher Kyle Farnsworth. Royals fans everywhere were quite disappointed that the Royals seemed to be giving up on their present roster... Then Royals fans everywhere remembered that their present roster had been slightly less successful than the Bad News Bears in the first hour of their film.

August
Survey data was released that showed New York, New York (the city so nice they named it in rather lazy fashion) was the U.S. city with the worst bedbug infestation. Travelers worried, exterminators rejoiced, and people were advised to refrain from collecting used mattresses left out on the street. I'm suddenly worried about the hobbies of the American public.

September
Lady Gaga was a winner eight times over at the Video Music Awards. She accepted her final award while wearing a dress made entirely of meat. Yes, meat. I have yet to confirm whether the final award was for "The Strongest Indication of the Impending Apocalypse."

October
The Kansas State football Wildcats surrendered 14,326 rushing yards* to the Nebraska Cornhuskers, but bounced back a week later to beat the Kansas Jayhawks 59-7. Thus, the month seemed to proved two points. 1. Momentum does not exist in college football. 2. KU is lousy.

*Number is approximate.

November
Gebregziabher Gebremariam won the New York Marathon. His winning time was 10 minutes less than the amount of time it took sportscasters to figure out how to pronounce his name.

December
The Chiefs clinched a berth in the NFL Playoffs by winning their 10th game of the season. The Chiefs had won 10 games over the
three previous seasons combined. This, dear readers, is what some might call a “Festivus Miracle.” I can think of no better note to end this Writing on.

Go Chiefs!

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