What happens when quick thoughts are not brief enough for Twitter's wickedly unyielding character limit? They earn a home at The Writings. Welcome, quickthoughts.
That's good news, right?
As I looked at some news on Michael Beasley - former K-State hoopster, Spongebob enthusiast, individual in need of a haircut, and subject to a recent ankle injury - today, I came across a story with the following headline: "Rambis admits Beasley's ankle could linger." I took this as good news. After all, the alternative (an ankle taking off to start a new life as the body-part-equivalent of a carnie - Would that be a nostril? Not always pleasing to look at, but they do serve a purpose) would not bode well for someone who depends on said ankle to run and jump.
Alas, it turns out that genius that crafted said headline did so while embracing the popular trend of being ridiculously lazy when it comes to using words and omitting the trisyllabic noun "injury." It turns out it's the ankle injury that could linger, which is not the positive that one might originally construe. Whatever the case, when it comes to Beasley's ankle, I hope it decides to linger, as well. The life of a nostril carnie is not one that many would pick.
... but you can fake logic, apparently
An area fast food sign advertised an interesting message today, relating to their new freshly cut, sea-salted, rabbi-blessed french fries. (Okay, one of those may be made up.) The message? "YOU CAN'T FAKE REAL."
It was a mistake to read this while driving, as I nearly careened into a nearby pile of snow. You can't fake real? Of course you can. That's what fake is: not real. Even Merriam-Webster's online Dictionary/Thesaurus/Translator/Dating network (... Give them time) clearly lists "real" as an antonym of "fake." Though it may sound preposterous, it seems that someone in the fast food industry may not have a firm grasp of crafting intelligent sentences. If anyone at said fast food eatery is reading this, I might suggest some new wording. Perhaps, "YOU CAN FAKE REAL, AFTER ALL THAT IS WHAT FAKE MEANS, BUT WE HAVE STOPPED TAKING PART IN SUCH VENTURES. HONESTLY, WE'RE NOT SURE WHY WE MENTIONED FAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST STOP IN AND TRY OUR NEW FRIES. OH, AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT PILE OF SNOW... CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW BIG THIS SIGN IS?"
That's good news, right?
As I looked at some news on Michael Beasley - former K-State hoopster, Spongebob enthusiast, individual in need of a haircut, and subject to a recent ankle injury - today, I came across a story with the following headline: "Rambis admits Beasley's ankle could linger." I took this as good news. After all, the alternative (an ankle taking off to start a new life as the body-part-equivalent of a carnie - Would that be a nostril? Not always pleasing to look at, but they do serve a purpose) would not bode well for someone who depends on said ankle to run and jump.
Alas, it turns out that genius that crafted said headline did so while embracing the popular trend of being ridiculously lazy when it comes to using words and omitting the trisyllabic noun "injury." It turns out it's the ankle injury that could linger, which is not the positive that one might originally construe. Whatever the case, when it comes to Beasley's ankle, I hope it decides to linger, as well. The life of a nostril carnie is not one that many would pick.
... but you can fake logic, apparently
An area fast food sign advertised an interesting message today, relating to their new freshly cut, sea-salted, rabbi-blessed french fries. (Okay, one of those may be made up.) The message? "YOU CAN'T FAKE REAL."
It was a mistake to read this while driving, as I nearly careened into a nearby pile of snow. You can't fake real? Of course you can. That's what fake is: not real. Even Merriam-Webster's online Dictionary/Thesaurus/Translator/Dating network (... Give them time) clearly lists "real" as an antonym of "fake." Though it may sound preposterous, it seems that someone in the fast food industry may not have a firm grasp of crafting intelligent sentences. If anyone at said fast food eatery is reading this, I might suggest some new wording. Perhaps, "YOU CAN FAKE REAL, AFTER ALL THAT IS WHAT FAKE MEANS, BUT WE HAVE STOPPED TAKING PART IN SUCH VENTURES. HONESTLY, WE'RE NOT SURE WHY WE MENTIONED FAKE IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW ABOUT YOU JUST STOP IN AND TRY OUR NEW FRIES. OH, AND WATCH OUT FOR THAT PILE OF SNOW... CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW BIG THIS SIGN IS?"
No comments:
Post a Comment