How does one celebrate a country's birthday? This weekend, I encountered a number of methods, from the practical to the ridiculous. (Actually, most are pretty ridiculous.) It's time we examine a few such party games.
In the small town of Randolph on Saturday, I took in a car show. Along with V8s and chrome, I also had the chance to see plenty of folks in sleeveless t-shirts at the vehicular exhibition. It was here that I was reminded of one simple lesson: sleeves are for suckers.
Just down the road from the car show, a large group of folks celebrated the nation's birth with an extremely patriotic activity: trying to run a four-wheeler through a pit full of mud. The event, known as the Mud Bog, is one that is known for it's complicated scoring rubric and abundance of sophisticated rules... That, or it involves nothing more than, again, running a four-wheeler at full speed and trying to drive through a mud-filled bog. (... I'm not sure why it's called the Mud Bog. It's a mystery.) There was quite a large gathering of folks watching young men drive into the ditch only to get caked in mud and be forced to have their four-wheelers towed out by a tractor. It's interesting; the event is no more a sport than when a person's 1980 Impala with bald tires gets stuck in the snow, yet people love it. Happy birthday, America.
Another staple in the celebration of America's independence is, naturally, eating as much greasy food as one can fit in their face. It's time for funnel cakes and deep-fried pork rinds. Why, one might ask, is overeating such an important part of celebrating America? The answer is one you'll find between two pieces of fried chicken posing as sandwich bread. Overeating is such a staple in our society that we have Competitive Eating competitions. In America, the person who eats the most hot dogs on the 4th gets a championship belt. In other countries, competitive eating refers to actually fighting for food in order to, you know, live.
The main way we celebrate Independence Day is the most subtle one imaginable: we blow things up. We're free... It's time for bottle rockets! We have the right to say whatever we want and practice religion as we please... Toss me an M-80 and a couple G.I. Joe figures, would you?
I joke about some of the idiosyncrasies that result from being a free country, but I'd be remiss (and no one wants to be remiss) if I didn't mention how much such freedom is actually worth. It's undeniably important to be thankful each and every day for the rights we do have. After all, without freedom to express ourselves, The Writings would not exist. Then how happy would you really be?
... On second thought, don't answer that.
In the small town of Randolph on Saturday, I took in a car show. Along with V8s and chrome, I also had the chance to see plenty of folks in sleeveless t-shirts at the vehicular exhibition. It was here that I was reminded of one simple lesson: sleeves are for suckers.
Just down the road from the car show, a large group of folks celebrated the nation's birth with an extremely patriotic activity: trying to run a four-wheeler through a pit full of mud. The event, known as the Mud Bog, is one that is known for it's complicated scoring rubric and abundance of sophisticated rules... That, or it involves nothing more than, again, running a four-wheeler at full speed and trying to drive through a mud-filled bog. (... I'm not sure why it's called the Mud Bog. It's a mystery.) There was quite a large gathering of folks watching young men drive into the ditch only to get caked in mud and be forced to have their four-wheelers towed out by a tractor. It's interesting; the event is no more a sport than when a person's 1980 Impala with bald tires gets stuck in the snow, yet people love it. Happy birthday, America.
Another staple in the celebration of America's independence is, naturally, eating as much greasy food as one can fit in their face. It's time for funnel cakes and deep-fried pork rinds. Why, one might ask, is overeating such an important part of celebrating America? The answer is one you'll find between two pieces of fried chicken posing as sandwich bread. Overeating is such a staple in our society that we have Competitive Eating competitions. In America, the person who eats the most hot dogs on the 4th gets a championship belt. In other countries, competitive eating refers to actually fighting for food in order to, you know, live.
The main way we celebrate Independence Day is the most subtle one imaginable: we blow things up. We're free... It's time for bottle rockets! We have the right to say whatever we want and practice religion as we please... Toss me an M-80 and a couple G.I. Joe figures, would you?
I joke about some of the idiosyncrasies that result from being a free country, but I'd be remiss (and no one wants to be remiss) if I didn't mention how much such freedom is actually worth. It's undeniably important to be thankful each and every day for the rights we do have. After all, without freedom to express ourselves, The Writings would not exist. Then how happy would you really be?
... On second thought, don't answer that.
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