I enjoy watching basketball. Those close to me realize that statement is akin to saying "as a child, my head was too large for my body and I'm still working on growing into it," or "I have the balance of a one-legged yak." In other words, it states the blatantly obvious. Unfortunately, there's one thing that can foul up a televised basketball game pretty quickly. No, I'm not talking about an appearance by Drew Gooden (though that doesn't help). No, I'm referring to shoddy game commentary. Though one might think it would be difficult to clib the media ranks to the point that your calling a nationally televised game, a number of announcers seem to do their best to make it seem like all you need for the profession is the ability to put together complete sentences now and then.*
*Unfortunately, this requirement eliminates me from applicants for this job pool. I'm fairly confident that if I were tasked with speaking on live television, my "commentary" would consist of continually repeating the word "ball" and maybe occasionally saying "OOOOOOOHHHHHH" in surprised manner.
With that in mind, it's time to introduce the inaugural installment of What They're Saying - a look at the drivel passed off as worthwhile commentary.
"I've never heard an arena this loud."
The sports announcing equivalent to "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen." Rarely is it an hoest assessment and certain folks use it all the time.
"I've always thought that what you want to do on your opening possession is give yourself a good chance to score."
Insightful. I've always thought that scoring helps a team win basketball games. Where's my check?
"X takes it to the hoop."
"X goes to the basket."
X is short for Xavier- a player's first name in this instance. Please, Mr. Musburger, I find it difficult to believe you're in Xavier's five. With that in mind, it might be time to ditch the nicknames.
... This series will be continued in the future. Alas, while I do enjoy watching basketball, there is one thing that can foul up the broadcast even worse than shoddy announcing. It involves a certain team to the east grabbing a big lead. I can't watch this.
*Unfortunately, this requirement eliminates me from applicants for this job pool. I'm fairly confident that if I were tasked with speaking on live television, my "commentary" would consist of continually repeating the word "ball" and maybe occasionally saying "OOOOOOOHHHHHH" in surprised manner.
With that in mind, it's time to introduce the inaugural installment of What They're Saying - a look at the drivel passed off as worthwhile commentary.
"I've never heard an arena this loud."
The sports announcing equivalent to "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen." Rarely is it an hoest assessment and certain folks use it all the time.
"I've always thought that what you want to do on your opening possession is give yourself a good chance to score."
Insightful. I've always thought that scoring helps a team win basketball games. Where's my check?
"X takes it to the hoop."
"X goes to the basket."
X is short for Xavier- a player's first name in this instance. Please, Mr. Musburger, I find it difficult to believe you're in Xavier's five. With that in mind, it might be time to ditch the nicknames.
... This series will be continued in the future. Alas, while I do enjoy watching basketball, there is one thing that can foul up the broadcast even worse than shoddy announcing. It involves a certain team to the east grabbing a big lead. I can't watch this.
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