I saw a National monument today.
Well, it may not be an official National Monument, but it's considered one by a portion of the nation, anyway.
... Fine, it might just be me that sees this work as one of the heights in human ingenuity, but I'll let you decide for yourself...
Sure, this vehicle I witnessed is not the only Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in existence, but such a fact does little to sway my opinion. This giant, motorized hot dog is an important piece of American History.
Consider the power of the Wienermobile:
- It brightens moods.
I traveled to Dillon's on this very day to provide my car with the gasoline sustenance it requires to maintain forward motion. Naturally, the idea of forking out the cash required to fill up a gas tank these days was not a thrilling concept. Yet, as soon as I saw the Wienermobile* in the parking lot, I forgot all about prices of oil, offshore drilling, alternate sources of energy, and the possibility of having to sell a kidney if I ever take a road-trip. There was only one thought in my mind: I have to get a picture of that.
*The fact that I have never referenced the Wienermobile before in this blog - a collections of Writings that covers everything from the evils of water that has dipped below its freezing point to male flight attendants that look like Lando Calrissian - is surprising even to me. To make up for such literary neglect, I'm using the Wienermobile name far more than it should ever appear in text.
- It promotes the arts.
Photography is an art, and everybody around wanted a picture of the Wienermobile. I have witnessed some really interesting people and really interesting sights in public parking lots throughout my life, but few have merited a photograph to commemorate the event. Nevertheless, with the Wienermobile just across the parking lot, I considered abandoning my car while it filled with petroleum to snap pictures with my shoddy cell phone until the battery died.
Honestly, there are very few motor vehicles in existence that can make me actually stop what I'm doing to take a photo. In three days at a car show featuring over 1,600 cars, I took exactly zero pictures of cars that had not transported me to the park. Yet, when presented with Oscar Mayer's hot dog on wheels not only did I snap a photo, but I actually sent it to people to share the joy in the event... This from a guy that didn't take a single photo on a trip to New York years ago.
The idea of having a Wienermobile staffer (What would one call the drivers of this vehicle? Every idea that comes to mind seems a bit risque for such a Writing) snap my picture next to the oversized redhot even crossed my mind. Alas, it was ultimately thwarted by some combination of pride and insecurity (mostly the latter).**
**I probably looked a little place as it was, considering the face that I am neither a six-year-old nor a soccer mom^.
^We have "soccer moms," and now we have "hockey moms"... what about the sports that are, you know, popular in our country? Have you ever heard anyone referred to as a football, baseball, or basketball mom? From my understanding, soccer moms are always running around from place to place for their kids (soccer practice, etc.), which is similar to what soccer players do, as there is entirely too much running in the sport. Apparently hockey moms are similar, but also tough, like pit bulls. Are football moms the ones that like hitting people? Do baseball moms enjoy spitting more than other moms? What about basketball moms? Are these women giving chest bumps after successful drop offs? Can someone sort this out for me?
As it stands, the only other vehicles I can think of that I'd really have to get a picture of upon sight is the original Batmobile and maybe the A-Team's van if Mr. T is hanging around. Some might argue for the General Lee, but it seems to be easily replicated with a '69 Dodge Charger. (And who doesn't have one of those?) Obviously, I'm no car buff. If you're frustrated with my ignorance, comment below with a vehicle I'm missing out on. With some feedback, we may have a future poll on our hands.
-It makes people burst into song.
No, your author did not serenade all in proximity with the Oscar Mayer Wiener song, but the lyrics were certainly rolling through my head as I approached the bumper (Bun-per? ... The Writings - all the crappy puns you'll ever need, and all for free). In the world of television advertisements, people love singing the jingle... despite the fact that it doesn't really make sense. Do people really wish they were some combination of meats served on a bun, even if they had the opportunity to be packaged by Oscar Mayer? Is that what they'd REALLY like to be?
Honestly, given the option, I think I'd rather maintain my current status as a person that isn't served at all (as long as I stay away from any freestyle rap battles or dance contests... oh snap***). It seems the odds of me being consumed by a severely overweight man in a baseball jersey are far less as I currently stand.
***Yes, I am fluent in the language of 1980s rappers. Funky fresh, I know.
I do have qualms with Mr. Mayer's choice of song lyrics (then again, from what I understand Mr. Mayer is actually a piece of bologna, so what can you expect?), but it seems that he pegged the final line of his ditty. Much like the Statue of Liberty and Mount Rushmore, everyone loves the Wienermobile.
Now we just have to get a presidential candidate to make declaring it a National Monument a campaign priority.
Well, it may not be an official National Monument, but it's considered one by a portion of the nation, anyway.
... Fine, it might just be me that sees this work as one of the heights in human ingenuity, but I'll let you decide for yourself...
Sure, this vehicle I witnessed is not the only Oscar Mayer Wienermobile in existence, but such a fact does little to sway my opinion. This giant, motorized hot dog is an important piece of American History.
Consider the power of the Wienermobile:
- It brightens moods.
I traveled to Dillon's on this very day to provide my car with the gasoline sustenance it requires to maintain forward motion. Naturally, the idea of forking out the cash required to fill up a gas tank these days was not a thrilling concept. Yet, as soon as I saw the Wienermobile* in the parking lot, I forgot all about prices of oil, offshore drilling, alternate sources of energy, and the possibility of having to sell a kidney if I ever take a road-trip. There was only one thought in my mind: I have to get a picture of that.
*The fact that I have never referenced the Wienermobile before in this blog - a collections of Writings that covers everything from the evils of water that has dipped below its freezing point to male flight attendants that look like Lando Calrissian - is surprising even to me. To make up for such literary neglect, I'm using the Wienermobile name far more than it should ever appear in text.
- It promotes the arts.
Photography is an art, and everybody around wanted a picture of the Wienermobile. I have witnessed some really interesting people and really interesting sights in public parking lots throughout my life, but few have merited a photograph to commemorate the event. Nevertheless, with the Wienermobile just across the parking lot, I considered abandoning my car while it filled with petroleum to snap pictures with my shoddy cell phone until the battery died.
Honestly, there are very few motor vehicles in existence that can make me actually stop what I'm doing to take a photo. In three days at a car show featuring over 1,600 cars, I took exactly zero pictures of cars that had not transported me to the park. Yet, when presented with Oscar Mayer's hot dog on wheels not only did I snap a photo, but I actually sent it to people to share the joy in the event... This from a guy that didn't take a single photo on a trip to New York years ago.
The idea of having a Wienermobile staffer (What would one call the drivers of this vehicle? Every idea that comes to mind seems a bit risque for such a Writing) snap my picture next to the oversized redhot even crossed my mind. Alas, it was ultimately thwarted by some combination of pride and insecurity (mostly the latter).**
**I probably looked a little place as it was, considering the face that I am neither a six-year-old nor a soccer mom^.
^We have "soccer moms," and now we have "hockey moms"... what about the sports that are, you know, popular in our country? Have you ever heard anyone referred to as a football, baseball, or basketball mom? From my understanding, soccer moms are always running around from place to place for their kids (soccer practice, etc.), which is similar to what soccer players do, as there is entirely too much running in the sport. Apparently hockey moms are similar, but also tough, like pit bulls. Are football moms the ones that like hitting people? Do baseball moms enjoy spitting more than other moms? What about basketball moms? Are these women giving chest bumps after successful drop offs? Can someone sort this out for me?
As it stands, the only other vehicles I can think of that I'd really have to get a picture of upon sight is the original Batmobile and maybe the A-Team's van if Mr. T is hanging around. Some might argue for the General Lee, but it seems to be easily replicated with a '69 Dodge Charger. (And who doesn't have one of those?) Obviously, I'm no car buff. If you're frustrated with my ignorance, comment below with a vehicle I'm missing out on. With some feedback, we may have a future poll on our hands.
-It makes people burst into song.
No, your author did not serenade all in proximity with the Oscar Mayer Wiener song, but the lyrics were certainly rolling through my head as I approached the bumper (Bun-per? ... The Writings - all the crappy puns you'll ever need, and all for free). In the world of television advertisements, people love singing the jingle... despite the fact that it doesn't really make sense. Do people really wish they were some combination of meats served on a bun, even if they had the opportunity to be packaged by Oscar Mayer? Is that what they'd REALLY like to be?
Honestly, given the option, I think I'd rather maintain my current status as a person that isn't served at all (as long as I stay away from any freestyle rap battles or dance contests... oh snap***). It seems the odds of me being consumed by a severely overweight man in a baseball jersey are far less as I currently stand.
***Yes, I am fluent in the language of 1980s rappers. Funky fresh, I know.
I do have qualms with Mr. Mayer's choice of song lyrics (then again, from what I understand Mr. Mayer is actually a piece of bologna, so what can you expect?), but it seems that he pegged the final line of his ditty. Much like the Statue of Liberty and Mount Rushmore, everyone loves the Wienermobile.
Now we just have to get a presidential candidate to make declaring it a National Monument a campaign priority.
4 comments:
Lest you forget, KITT from Knight Rider, Magnum PI's Ferrari, or even the Ford Gran Torino of Starsky and Hutch. All of which are quality famous tv cars.
Point taken.
In an almost unforgivable omission, I also neglected the DeLorean from Back to the Future.
I can even hear Doc Brown's "Great Scott!" reaction.
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/speed_racer/news/1726473/total_recall_50_most_memorable_movie_cars
this might help as well
Once saw the Wienermobile between Manhattan and Topeka on I-70. That's enough to almost cause a wreck. Sort of surreal! Look! Imagine the whole of east bound lanes drawing to the left! Gawking!
As to hockey moms and soccer moms and ...... I was a member of another selectively tough group.... the horse show (or rodeo) mom! If you should see one at, say, a filling station or a restaurant parking lot, give her a wide berth. Remember it takes all of your lane as well as hers to get that rig turned around and/or parked. You'd better hope she's not a new member.......
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