In the midst of watching more basketball today than any human ever should, I took note of the following statements made by commentators: "Katie, bar the door," and "Goodnight, Irene!*" I had the same response after hearing each utterance: Who is this woman, and what does she have to do with basketball? I probably should not have given those phrases a second thought, as my mouth has spit out plenty of things that don't relate well to the current situation in the time that it has be blessed (cursed?) with the ability to speak. (Devoted readers will note that my typing fingers seem to have the same problem.)
*Please note, the exclamation point was not my choice. The play-by-play announcer was just really excited when it said it. Why would someone get that excited about saying "goodnight"? The only reason I can think of is that he's a werewolf that enjoys its lot in life (as opposed to those werewolves in film that often dread making their canine transformation) and there's going to be a full moon out... Think about it.
In effort to relate to and better understand those who make a living by calling the action on the hardwood for national television audiences, I decided to do a little research. Using a resource called the "Internet" (apparently it's somewhat popular), I attempted to discover the motivation for referring to Katie and Irene. The results were somewhat frightening.
When the voice of this college basketball game hollered "Goodnight, Irene!" (and hollered it as if Irene were hearing impaired), he was actually paying homage to a folksy blues song. That sounds pleasant, right? Don't let the folksy nature fool you. The song follows a continual theme of the performer's suicidal wishes. "Sometimes I take a great notion, to jump in the river and drown," they lyrics read. It seems to me that taking a voluntary nap with the fishes is not an activity that relates well to basketball. Perhaps this announcer actually detests his job and this is his way of saying he'd rather take an eternal dip than try to explain another horrible call by a referee... That, or he wishes today's athletics were more like those in Roman times. If you win, fantastic. If you lose, you don't live to play another day.*
*We at The Writings do not endorse the competitive practices put forth by the ancient Romans. If such were the case today, the author's athletic career (and life) would have been a pretty short one.
While it may not make suicide seem like a viable alternative to viewing another second of hoops action, I find "Katie, bar the door" to be a rather odd utterance for a collegiate athletic contest, as well. Granted, the phrase is not a completely obscure one used to convey the idea that there is trouble ahead, but true examination of the phrase sparks a bit of worry. Think of the situations that would have to be at hand for you to actually go to the trouble of barring your door. For me, it would probably take a tragedy that could only be avoided if said door was barred. Perhaps a swarm of zombies (the type that don't even have the manners to knock before they enter) headed toward my door with a notarized letter expressing their wish to devour my brain* would be enough to get me to reinforce the entrance to my home, but I can't be sure. The point is that whoever first uttered, "Katie, bar the door," was facing quite a pickle. The type of pickle too severe to be found on a basketball court (unless the aforementioned zombies chased me to an arena... they're a tenacious bunch). I think modifying the phrase to fit the situation at hand would have been more appropriate. Perhaps next time a game gets too close for comfort, he can just say, "Katie, can you scoot over. I don't feel comfortable sitting this closely. Perhaps someday, but not at this point in our relationship. Especially with all these people around. Don't take offense, that's just where I'm at with things right now. I hope this doesn't make things weird."
That should fit well in the flow of a game.
*Please note, the exclamation point was not my choice. The play-by-play announcer was just really excited when it said it. Why would someone get that excited about saying "goodnight"? The only reason I can think of is that he's a werewolf that enjoys its lot in life (as opposed to those werewolves in film that often dread making their canine transformation) and there's going to be a full moon out... Think about it.
In effort to relate to and better understand those who make a living by calling the action on the hardwood for national television audiences, I decided to do a little research. Using a resource called the "Internet" (apparently it's somewhat popular), I attempted to discover the motivation for referring to Katie and Irene. The results were somewhat frightening.
When the voice of this college basketball game hollered "Goodnight, Irene!" (and hollered it as if Irene were hearing impaired), he was actually paying homage to a folksy blues song. That sounds pleasant, right? Don't let the folksy nature fool you. The song follows a continual theme of the performer's suicidal wishes. "Sometimes I take a great notion, to jump in the river and drown," they lyrics read. It seems to me that taking a voluntary nap with the fishes is not an activity that relates well to basketball. Perhaps this announcer actually detests his job and this is his way of saying he'd rather take an eternal dip than try to explain another horrible call by a referee... That, or he wishes today's athletics were more like those in Roman times. If you win, fantastic. If you lose, you don't live to play another day.*
*We at The Writings do not endorse the competitive practices put forth by the ancient Romans. If such were the case today, the author's athletic career (and life) would have been a pretty short one.
While it may not make suicide seem like a viable alternative to viewing another second of hoops action, I find "Katie, bar the door" to be a rather odd utterance for a collegiate athletic contest, as well. Granted, the phrase is not a completely obscure one used to convey the idea that there is trouble ahead, but true examination of the phrase sparks a bit of worry. Think of the situations that would have to be at hand for you to actually go to the trouble of barring your door. For me, it would probably take a tragedy that could only be avoided if said door was barred. Perhaps a swarm of zombies (the type that don't even have the manners to knock before they enter) headed toward my door with a notarized letter expressing their wish to devour my brain* would be enough to get me to reinforce the entrance to my home, but I can't be sure. The point is that whoever first uttered, "Katie, bar the door," was facing quite a pickle. The type of pickle too severe to be found on a basketball court (unless the aforementioned zombies chased me to an arena... they're a tenacious bunch). I think modifying the phrase to fit the situation at hand would have been more appropriate. Perhaps next time a game gets too close for comfort, he can just say, "Katie, can you scoot over. I don't feel comfortable sitting this closely. Perhaps someday, but not at this point in our relationship. Especially with all these people around. Don't take offense, that's just where I'm at with things right now. I hope this doesn't make things weird."
That should fit well in the flow of a game.
No comments:
Post a Comment