When one heads to a car show, one expects to see classic cars (that, or talking cars doing a comedy act of the Abbott and Costello variety... Who's Shifting From First, anyone?). If such were not the case, we would probably be dealing with a massive case of false advertising.
Thanks to this past weekend, I can attest that the number of unique, visually stunning vehicles parked at such a show can be overwhelming. However, there is another aspect - an unadvertised draw - that these automotive showcases feature. It's the attendees. The folks scoping out everything from engines to spoilers can be as different as the Model A and a '71 Stingray. Naturally, they're a crew prime for examination.
These are the people in your neighborhood...
-The guy with an uncomfortably warm belly
As someone who may be quicker than most when it comes to reaching the point of perspiration, I don't normally scoff at new ways to keep cool, but Mr. Warm Belly has taken things to a rather creeptastic level. When the temperature reaches the mid-80s but there's still several classic V8s to see, he fights off sweat by pulling up his grimy t-shirt and tucking it so that it stays snugly above his protruding gut. (The fact that there is actually somewhere to tuck his shirt above his gut tells you something about his physique.) I guess the basic premise of the idea seems close to conventional. After all, if your arms are warm you roll up your sleeves... But, the end result looks like something that would have most drivers shifting into reverse.
-The members of ZZ Top
Unfortunately, I cannot confirm that the actual members of ZZ Top were in attendance at this motor carriage extravaganza, but their look was popular enough that it left all those who are folically challenge in the face feeling inadequate.. I am pretty confident you would struggle to find this many chest-length beards at the World Beard and Moustache Championships.
The forest of facial hair was so thick that I fully expected to hear the familiar chords of "Sharp Dressed Man" and see the signature guitar flip as I searched to find some sort of purchasable sustinance that did not have grease as the primary ingredient (mission: failed).
-The power-walking guy with great fashion sense
Some people come to car shows for the cars. Some come for the company. Some come to ignore all else and power-walk laps around a park, all while sporting the latest in early-90s fashion: the fanny pack. What treasures lie inside this zipper-bound representation of all that is hip? (The Writings.. Your source for horrible puns.) Only this man knows for sure. However, my guess is that it's some sort of shoe in-sole, because he just started another lap.
-The multitasker
Being a father of three young boys would be no easy task. Of this, I'm very confident. Simply keeping the kids entertained would be a continual challenge. However, taking the youngsters on a bike ride around the park would be a good start. The kids would get the opportunity to be outside on a lovely day, and you would be able to get some exercise at the same time. And what is the logical way to get the most out of a healthy cardiovascular workout like a bike ride? Naturally, it's by enjoying a cigarette as you pedal along.
That's right, the multitasker gets his nicotine fix while cruising on his Huffy. Unfortunately, reports that he shotguns Budweiser while jogging or eats deep-fried Oreos by the handful while jumping rope remain unconfirmed.
-The fool who falls victim to a ridiculous sunburn that leaves his nose redder than a certain reindeer's and provides a farmer's tan that would have Old McDonald saying "e-i-e-i-oh crap"
This fool normally follows up such an event by writing about it in self-depricating fashion in his blog... Yes, I'm an idiot.
Thanks to this past weekend, I can attest that the number of unique, visually stunning vehicles parked at such a show can be overwhelming. However, there is another aspect - an unadvertised draw - that these automotive showcases feature. It's the attendees. The folks scoping out everything from engines to spoilers can be as different as the Model A and a '71 Stingray. Naturally, they're a crew prime for examination.
These are the people in your neighborhood...
-The guy with an uncomfortably warm belly
As someone who may be quicker than most when it comes to reaching the point of perspiration, I don't normally scoff at new ways to keep cool, but Mr. Warm Belly has taken things to a rather creeptastic level. When the temperature reaches the mid-80s but there's still several classic V8s to see, he fights off sweat by pulling up his grimy t-shirt and tucking it so that it stays snugly above his protruding gut. (The fact that there is actually somewhere to tuck his shirt above his gut tells you something about his physique.) I guess the basic premise of the idea seems close to conventional. After all, if your arms are warm you roll up your sleeves... But, the end result looks like something that would have most drivers shifting into reverse.
-The members of ZZ Top
Unfortunately, I cannot confirm that the actual members of ZZ Top were in attendance at this motor carriage extravaganza, but their look was popular enough that it left all those who are folically challenge in the face feeling inadequate.. I am pretty confident you would struggle to find this many chest-length beards at the World Beard and Moustache Championships.
The forest of facial hair was so thick that I fully expected to hear the familiar chords of "Sharp Dressed Man" and see the signature guitar flip as I searched to find some sort of purchasable sustinance that did not have grease as the primary ingredient (mission: failed).
-The power-walking guy with great fashion sense
Some people come to car shows for the cars. Some come for the company. Some come to ignore all else and power-walk laps around a park, all while sporting the latest in early-90s fashion: the fanny pack. What treasures lie inside this zipper-bound representation of all that is hip? (The Writings.. Your source for horrible puns.) Only this man knows for sure. However, my guess is that it's some sort of shoe in-sole, because he just started another lap.
-The multitasker
Being a father of three young boys would be no easy task. Of this, I'm very confident. Simply keeping the kids entertained would be a continual challenge. However, taking the youngsters on a bike ride around the park would be a good start. The kids would get the opportunity to be outside on a lovely day, and you would be able to get some exercise at the same time. And what is the logical way to get the most out of a healthy cardiovascular workout like a bike ride? Naturally, it's by enjoying a cigarette as you pedal along.
That's right, the multitasker gets his nicotine fix while cruising on his Huffy. Unfortunately, reports that he shotguns Budweiser while jogging or eats deep-fried Oreos by the handful while jumping rope remain unconfirmed.
-The fool who falls victim to a ridiculous sunburn that leaves his nose redder than a certain reindeer's and provides a farmer's tan that would have Old McDonald saying "e-i-e-i-oh crap"
This fool normally follows up such an event by writing about it in self-depricating fashion in his blog... Yes, I'm an idiot.
2 comments:
on that beard site,
"Gunnar Rosenquist
Gothenburg, Sweden
Gunnar burst onto the international beard scene at the 2006 European Championships in Amberg, Germany, where he took third in the full beard natural category, traditionally the most competitive. At the 2007 worlds in Brighton, England 2007, where ABBA won the Eurovision SongContest in 1984, he succeeded in taking the silver medal performance in the same category. Gunnar is a peacelover and also a Master of Science in Computer Engineering. He lives in the woods near Gothenburg with his woman and his daughter."
Others have done the e-i-e-i-oh-crap thing recently. Blogger Pioneer Woman's hubby (she calls him Marlboro Man) is a real cowboy type - spends his days in jeans on horseback. He played golf in Arizona last weekend in shorts. The photos she took of his legs tell the story.
Check out
http://thepioneerwoman.com/
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