Life is funny and is often taken far too seriously. For these two points, I will accept no arguments.* It's been far too long (hours, possibly even days) since we at The Writings took a deep look at some of life's foibles. It's time to right that wrong. Let's examine some of the things you can encounter over a span of 20 minutes, no further than two blocks from home.
*Note: In this usage, "Life" is not meant to refer to the board game bearing that very name. There's nothing funny about that.
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There is not much funnier in life than seeing a guy rolling down the sidewalk on a skateboard, attempting to do some sort of kick-flip, round-dealie or jump-waggle*, and nearly falling on his face. That may sound mean-spirited, but it's the truth. Mr. Skate-or-die has already made the decision that a four-wheeled board - rendered useless in the face of steady inclines - is his preferred mode of conveyance. He then determined that rolling in such a manner was not showy enough; that he needed to show his friends a bit of flash. If he's bringing that show to the center ring, he better be ready for the spotlight.
*The Writings: Where skateboard lingo is like a second language. Gnarly! Radical! Et cetera!
I witnessed a "skater" fall victim to this very course of events earlier this evening. He was rolling down the sidewalk toward me, while his cohorts - all on foot - trailed behind. After a near not-so-tender kiss of the pavement (and my own stifled laugh), Mr. RollerDerby recovered and decided that walking for a bit might not be a shabby idea. As I walked by him and his buddies, I heard him mutter to one, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news..." Unfortunately, my pace was to quick to catch the conclusion of the sentence, but I'm pretty sure it ended with something like, "... but I think I wasted $50 on this board."
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On the same jaunt, I walked by an idling car. The vehicle's radio was blasting. The song: Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time."
Remember how I said that there is little that is more humorous than a near-faceplant resulting from a failed skateboard trick?* This is one of the things that is.
*See previous section of The Writings if you have no short term memory.
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While walking back home after picking up my dinner, I noticed a flier advertising a garage sale. According to the flier, the sale will feature "Everything you can imagine and even more that you can't." At this, I was intrigued. The ad went on to describe many things the sale would feature; things like DVDs, books, clothing, and adult magazines (yes, the ad's writer was brutally honest). Alas, everything the ad mentioned fell into the realm of things I have the capacity of imagining. Thus, I'm now trying to figure out what the bargain bonanza could feature that I cannot imagine.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
- a Twilight book that I'd be interested in reading;
- an autographed photo of Ron Prince that I would want to frame and hang on my wall;
- a show on MTV that could actually be deemed "quality entertainment";
- a person that was actually interested in the recent Writing about fantasy football;
- an item of KU apparel that I would consider wearing;
- an episode of Cops that does not feature someone who is either, a) shirtless, b) wearing a wifebeater, c) sporting a mullet;
- a photo of the author from from his junior high years that does not feature an incredibly awkward-looking Derek;
- anything that can help you get the last five minutes of your life back.
*Note: In this usage, "Life" is not meant to refer to the board game bearing that very name. There's nothing funny about that.
-----
There is not much funnier in life than seeing a guy rolling down the sidewalk on a skateboard, attempting to do some sort of kick-flip, round-dealie or jump-waggle*, and nearly falling on his face. That may sound mean-spirited, but it's the truth. Mr. Skate-or-die has already made the decision that a four-wheeled board - rendered useless in the face of steady inclines - is his preferred mode of conveyance. He then determined that rolling in such a manner was not showy enough; that he needed to show his friends a bit of flash. If he's bringing that show to the center ring, he better be ready for the spotlight.
*The Writings: Where skateboard lingo is like a second language. Gnarly! Radical! Et cetera!
I witnessed a "skater" fall victim to this very course of events earlier this evening. He was rolling down the sidewalk toward me, while his cohorts - all on foot - trailed behind. After a near not-so-tender kiss of the pavement (and my own stifled laugh), Mr. RollerDerby recovered and decided that walking for a bit might not be a shabby idea. As I walked by him and his buddies, I heard him mutter to one, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news..." Unfortunately, my pace was to quick to catch the conclusion of the sentence, but I'm pretty sure it ended with something like, "... but I think I wasted $50 on this board."
-----
On the same jaunt, I walked by an idling car. The vehicle's radio was blasting. The song: Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time."
Remember how I said that there is little that is more humorous than a near-faceplant resulting from a failed skateboard trick?* This is one of the things that is.
*See previous section of The Writings if you have no short term memory.
-----
While walking back home after picking up my dinner, I noticed a flier advertising a garage sale. According to the flier, the sale will feature "Everything you can imagine and even more that you can't." At this, I was intrigued. The ad went on to describe many things the sale would feature; things like DVDs, books, clothing, and adult magazines (yes, the ad's writer was brutally honest). Alas, everything the ad mentioned fell into the realm of things I have the capacity of imagining. Thus, I'm now trying to figure out what the bargain bonanza could feature that I cannot imagine.
Here's what I've come up with so far:
- a Twilight book that I'd be interested in reading;
- an autographed photo of Ron Prince that I would want to frame and hang on my wall;
- a show on MTV that could actually be deemed "quality entertainment";
- a person that was actually interested in the recent Writing about fantasy football;
- an item of KU apparel that I would consider wearing;
- an episode of Cops that does not feature someone who is either, a) shirtless, b) wearing a wifebeater, c) sporting a mullet;
- a photo of the author from from his junior high years that does not feature an incredibly awkward-looking Derek;
- anything that can help you get the last five minutes of your life back.
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