Though she's just two, my niece is by far one of the most entertaining people I have ever encountered. Along with the fact that she enjoys the spotlight when she's comfortable with her surroundings, she is also quite the teacher. Here's a few items that I've recently learned from the little gal:
- When telling a story of your gymnastics class, or a slide you played on, or a puppy you saw, pausing to take a breath is completely optional.
- Ketchup on french fries is tasty. Your french fries dipped in your uncle's ketchup - which is across the table and calls for practically crawling on top of the table to reach - make for an even better treat.
- Clowns are terrifying; so scary, in fact, that they will make you abandon the toys you were playing with and demand to be put into a crib that is not yours. Upon the exit of the aforementioned demon in face paint, proper protocol to ensure safety involves hollering at your dad to shut the door.
- When a new person is introduced to the family environment, you must move quickly to make sure that they, too, will be putty in your hands. When it's time for hugs and kisses, put the newbie first in line. When it's time to show-off a bit, always make sure they're watching. Even when you cry, turn and face the new blood, just to make sure they are still aware of you.
- When you get a temporary tattoo on your upper arm, you should pull up your shirt sleeve to show it to pretty much anyone you know. If you are not wearing sleeves, you should still act as if you are pulling up a shirtsleeve when you want to show someone the tattoo.
- Naps are for suckers, unless you're riding in a car.
- Milo and Otis is pretty much the greatest movie ever made.
- .... Unless Elmo DVDs count as movies.
- Along the same lines, the only website that matters is www.sesamestreet.org.
- One must enjoy the simple things in life. Simply holding a hose to water Grandpa's plants can be a lot of fun with the right mindset.
- When telling a story of your gymnastics class, or a slide you played on, or a puppy you saw, pausing to take a breath is completely optional.
- Ketchup on french fries is tasty. Your french fries dipped in your uncle's ketchup - which is across the table and calls for practically crawling on top of the table to reach - make for an even better treat.
- Clowns are terrifying; so scary, in fact, that they will make you abandon the toys you were playing with and demand to be put into a crib that is not yours. Upon the exit of the aforementioned demon in face paint, proper protocol to ensure safety involves hollering at your dad to shut the door.
- When a new person is introduced to the family environment, you must move quickly to make sure that they, too, will be putty in your hands. When it's time for hugs and kisses, put the newbie first in line. When it's time to show-off a bit, always make sure they're watching. Even when you cry, turn and face the new blood, just to make sure they are still aware of you.
- When you get a temporary tattoo on your upper arm, you should pull up your shirt sleeve to show it to pretty much anyone you know. If you are not wearing sleeves, you should still act as if you are pulling up a shirtsleeve when you want to show someone the tattoo.
- Naps are for suckers, unless you're riding in a car.
- Milo and Otis is pretty much the greatest movie ever made.
- .... Unless Elmo DVDs count as movies.
- Along the same lines, the only website that matters is www.sesamestreet.org.
- One must enjoy the simple things in life. Simply holding a hose to water Grandpa's plants can be a lot of fun with the right mindset.
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