Sometimes, after a venture into the public setting, I'll scratch down a note of something I saw, thinking it would be good material for The Writings. Unfortunately for those who enjoy reading blogs with no semblance of a point, many of these notes end up lost and therefore unused. This Writing, dear readers, is my attempt to give these notes very poor literary treatment before they find the bottom of my trashcan. The title of each section is the note as it appears on my 8.5x11 wide-ruled sheet of paper. Enjoy.
Cowboy hat popcorn icee
This one seems pretty self-explanatory, but for those who need clarification, my brother and I noticed a gentleman sporting a cowboy had and a western vest at Target a week ago. He looked straight out of a western movie (aside from the sweatpants he wore to complete his attire), but did not appear to be shopping for anything in particular at the retail store. No, instead he was casually sitting in snack bar area, munching popcorn and sipping an Icee. No, this was not any sort of revolutionary sight, it just marked the first time I'd seen a pretend cowboy eating such menu selections in a public setting.
Favorite Flicks - Air Bud
While visiting another retail location, this one an electronic store whose name rhymes with "pest pie*," I noticed a rack of DVDs with a sign noting that the selected movies were "Favorite Flicks." Included on this rack were the films "Air Bud Spikes Back" and "Air Bud Seventh Inning Fetch." Now I love the idea of dogs playing volleyball and baseball as much as any sane person (clarification: not much) but I'm not sure anyone that would list that pair of films as their favorites should be allowed anywhere that sells DVDs. It's debatable whether they should even be allowed outside an area where they can be observed around-the-clock. Perhaps the creator of the Air Bud films now works stocking retail shelves. Honestly, that's my best guess.
*Pest pie is not for public consumption.
VG Employee - disgruntled
Same day, same store, I was walking through the video game ("VG"... see, my notes are almost discernible) department and I greeted the employee manning the area, ready to answer any questions. Unfortunately for him, I had none. Adding to this employee's unfortunate situation was the fact that there were really no other customers back there and he was growing bored. It was at this time that I made the mistake of asking him how things were going. His response went something like this (please read with a sarcastic tone to get the full effect):
"Oh, it's great. They tell me to watch video games, so I come back here to video games. There's nobody here. I just stand here bored. I'm so bored I'm reading the strategy guides. Yeah, great."
It was about this time that I said "look, Super Mario has come to life" and ran off the other way... That, or I smiled, nodded, said something like "Sounds like a good time," and stepped away with great caution, not wanting to set this guy off in an XBox-smashing frenzy.
VG kid - talks to self
Luckily, I had little time to worry about Mr. Rosy Outlook, because seconds later I encountered a kid talking to himself. While checking out the latest that the Wii has to offer, this lad was carrying on a game of verbal Pong and it seemed neither side had an advantage. "Okay, where's the new Mario. There's the new Mario. I read about this. Sounds fun... "
Chest hair @ BK
Right or wrong, in our culture showing off what one deems are his or her best assets is commonplace. Have nice teeth? You smile a lot. Have nice legs? You might put the "short" in "shorts." Six-pack abs? You jog in the park with your shirt off to make girls swoon and guys despise you. None of it is out of the ordinary.
That said, I find it odd when I encounter a guy like I did at Burger King a couple weeks ago. This guy, probably in his 50s, wore a button-down (or button-up, if you prefer) shirt. As we both stood waiting for the culinary artists behind the counter to call our order numbers and present us with nutritious feasts*, I noticed that this guy had (seemingly) purposely left a few buttons toward the top of his shirt free of their button-holes. The result was a Sherwood Forest of hair follicles on display for all to see. The question is, did this man think folks would enjoy seeing that? Was it "his look"? After all, this was before the 80-degree temperatures became commonplace in the area, meaning using the heat as an excuse was not an option. I'm not here to say that he was wrong for letting his chest breathe. He had shoes, he had a shirt**, he gets service. It just seems that, in a public dining*** atmosphere, more discretion could be used... I guess I should just be glad he wasn't working in the kitchen.
*Translation: Waited for lady behind the counter to pass us our grease-caked Whoppers and fries.
**I'll never figure out how "pants" didn't work into that equation.
***Yes, I am probably stretching it by referring to BK as a "dining atmosphere."
Cowboy hat popcorn icee
This one seems pretty self-explanatory, but for those who need clarification, my brother and I noticed a gentleman sporting a cowboy had and a western vest at Target a week ago. He looked straight out of a western movie (aside from the sweatpants he wore to complete his attire), but did not appear to be shopping for anything in particular at the retail store. No, instead he was casually sitting in snack bar area, munching popcorn and sipping an Icee. No, this was not any sort of revolutionary sight, it just marked the first time I'd seen a pretend cowboy eating such menu selections in a public setting.
Favorite Flicks - Air Bud
While visiting another retail location, this one an electronic store whose name rhymes with "pest pie*," I noticed a rack of DVDs with a sign noting that the selected movies were "Favorite Flicks." Included on this rack were the films "Air Bud Spikes Back" and "Air Bud Seventh Inning Fetch." Now I love the idea of dogs playing volleyball and baseball as much as any sane person (clarification: not much) but I'm not sure anyone that would list that pair of films as their favorites should be allowed anywhere that sells DVDs. It's debatable whether they should even be allowed outside an area where they can be observed around-the-clock. Perhaps the creator of the Air Bud films now works stocking retail shelves. Honestly, that's my best guess.
*Pest pie is not for public consumption.
VG Employee - disgruntled
Same day, same store, I was walking through the video game ("VG"... see, my notes are almost discernible) department and I greeted the employee manning the area, ready to answer any questions. Unfortunately for him, I had none. Adding to this employee's unfortunate situation was the fact that there were really no other customers back there and he was growing bored. It was at this time that I made the mistake of asking him how things were going. His response went something like this (please read with a sarcastic tone to get the full effect):
"Oh, it's great. They tell me to watch video games, so I come back here to video games. There's nobody here. I just stand here bored. I'm so bored I'm reading the strategy guides. Yeah, great."
It was about this time that I said "look, Super Mario has come to life" and ran off the other way... That, or I smiled, nodded, said something like "Sounds like a good time," and stepped away with great caution, not wanting to set this guy off in an XBox-smashing frenzy.
VG kid - talks to self
Luckily, I had little time to worry about Mr. Rosy Outlook, because seconds later I encountered a kid talking to himself. While checking out the latest that the Wii has to offer, this lad was carrying on a game of verbal Pong and it seemed neither side had an advantage. "Okay, where's the new Mario. There's the new Mario. I read about this. Sounds fun... "
Chest hair @ BK
Right or wrong, in our culture showing off what one deems are his or her best assets is commonplace. Have nice teeth? You smile a lot. Have nice legs? You might put the "short" in "shorts." Six-pack abs? You jog in the park with your shirt off to make girls swoon and guys despise you. None of it is out of the ordinary.
That said, I find it odd when I encounter a guy like I did at Burger King a couple weeks ago. This guy, probably in his 50s, wore a button-down (or button-up, if you prefer) shirt. As we both stood waiting for the culinary artists behind the counter to call our order numbers and present us with nutritious feasts*, I noticed that this guy had (seemingly) purposely left a few buttons toward the top of his shirt free of their button-holes. The result was a Sherwood Forest of hair follicles on display for all to see. The question is, did this man think folks would enjoy seeing that? Was it "his look"? After all, this was before the 80-degree temperatures became commonplace in the area, meaning using the heat as an excuse was not an option. I'm not here to say that he was wrong for letting his chest breathe. He had shoes, he had a shirt**, he gets service. It just seems that, in a public dining*** atmosphere, more discretion could be used... I guess I should just be glad he wasn't working in the kitchen.
*Translation: Waited for lady behind the counter to pass us our grease-caked Whoppers and fries.
**I'll never figure out how "pants" didn't work into that equation.
***Yes, I am probably stretching it by referring to BK as a "dining atmosphere."
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