April 5 marks the end of March Madness.
Yes, I realize that sentence makes about as much sense as Rod Blagojevich appearing on Celebrity Apprentice, but it's true. The championship game of the NCAA Tournament, or "March Madness" as the kids call it, is currently taking place. Granted, I cannot see it at the moment, thanks to the fact that Mother Nature is wreaking havoc on some counties to the north, but I don't think things stop in Indy due to hail in Hanover.
March Madness has become quite an event in recent years. Corporations line up to sponsor it, cities line up to host it, and scalpers line up to sell tickets for absurd amounts of money... Everyone wins! (Well, everyone but those buying absurdly expensive tickets.)
It seems that everyone celebrates the the annual tournament in their own way. My favorite, however, was something I encountered on Saturday. The nearby shopping mall may not feature an abundance of stores, but it has the basics. Need a book? Head to Waldenbooks. Need a greeting card? Head to Hallmark. Need some pants? Head to Dillon's... or J.C. Penney... or Sears... or American Eagle... or Aeropostale. Need something to help embrace this silly vampire fad? Go to Hot Topic.
I'm not much of a mall shopper, but when I'm there, I always make a point to stop at the sports memorabilia/sports cards/sports frosty mugs/random sports crap no one will ever buy (Denver Broncos earmuffs? C'mon...) store. Granted, I rarely buy anything (partly because I have a hard time putting down $50 for an autograph of an old roommate), but a trip down the aisles can remind me of days long gone.
See that 1989 Topps card of Jerry Don Gleaton? Yup, I have that one. You like the 1992 Bowman card of Cliff Floyd dunking a baseball? Yes, I have that, too. It's nice to have the chance to remember the days when any money I came across after mowing, or pulling weeds, or robbing liquor stores while dressed up as the Energizer Bunny*, went toward packs of sports cards. Sure, most are no longer even worth the cardboard they were printed on, but that is beside the point. After all, if the cash hadn't gone toward sports cards, it probably would have funded my Laffy Taffy habit instead.
*Scratch that one.
Now that we're way off topic, let's get back to this NCAA Tournament celebration. Since this store deals mostly with sports, you might think any sort of promotion it would have in place would involve basketball. Perhaps they could give discounts on merchandise for the schools in the Final Four. Maybe they could offer a "buy one, get one half-off" deal on all basketball cards. If they had really wanted to draw interest, they could have brought in an obese man on a treadmill to give the store that authentic locker room smell.
Nope, instead this store chose to ignore Dr. James Naismith's invention entirely. Instead, the sign at the store's entrance read: March Madness! 30% off all knives and swords.
Yes, you read that right. The promotion using "madness" in the title offered a discount on knives and swords. After my first glance, I had to look again to see if a picture of Jack Nicholson's character from The Shining also appeared. It didn't, but it probably should have.
How does the true sportsman embrace the finest in college basketball? By swinging a machete haphazardly, of course.
Now that's madness.
Yes, I realize that sentence makes about as much sense as Rod Blagojevich appearing on Celebrity Apprentice, but it's true. The championship game of the NCAA Tournament, or "March Madness" as the kids call it, is currently taking place. Granted, I cannot see it at the moment, thanks to the fact that Mother Nature is wreaking havoc on some counties to the north, but I don't think things stop in Indy due to hail in Hanover.
March Madness has become quite an event in recent years. Corporations line up to sponsor it, cities line up to host it, and scalpers line up to sell tickets for absurd amounts of money... Everyone wins! (Well, everyone but those buying absurdly expensive tickets.)
It seems that everyone celebrates the the annual tournament in their own way. My favorite, however, was something I encountered on Saturday. The nearby shopping mall may not feature an abundance of stores, but it has the basics. Need a book? Head to Waldenbooks. Need a greeting card? Head to Hallmark. Need some pants? Head to Dillon's... or J.C. Penney... or Sears... or American Eagle... or Aeropostale. Need something to help embrace this silly vampire fad? Go to Hot Topic.
I'm not much of a mall shopper, but when I'm there, I always make a point to stop at the sports memorabilia/sports cards/sports frosty mugs/random sports crap no one will ever buy (Denver Broncos earmuffs? C'mon...) store. Granted, I rarely buy anything (partly because I have a hard time putting down $50 for an autograph of an old roommate), but a trip down the aisles can remind me of days long gone.
See that 1989 Topps card of Jerry Don Gleaton? Yup, I have that one. You like the 1992 Bowman card of Cliff Floyd dunking a baseball? Yes, I have that, too. It's nice to have the chance to remember the days when any money I came across after mowing, or pulling weeds, or robbing liquor stores while dressed up as the Energizer Bunny*, went toward packs of sports cards. Sure, most are no longer even worth the cardboard they were printed on, but that is beside the point. After all, if the cash hadn't gone toward sports cards, it probably would have funded my Laffy Taffy habit instead.
*Scratch that one.
Now that we're way off topic, let's get back to this NCAA Tournament celebration. Since this store deals mostly with sports, you might think any sort of promotion it would have in place would involve basketball. Perhaps they could give discounts on merchandise for the schools in the Final Four. Maybe they could offer a "buy one, get one half-off" deal on all basketball cards. If they had really wanted to draw interest, they could have brought in an obese man on a treadmill to give the store that authentic locker room smell.
Nope, instead this store chose to ignore Dr. James Naismith's invention entirely. Instead, the sign at the store's entrance read: March Madness! 30% off all knives and swords.
Yes, you read that right. The promotion using "madness" in the title offered a discount on knives and swords. After my first glance, I had to look again to see if a picture of Jack Nicholson's character from The Shining also appeared. It didn't, but it probably should have.
How does the true sportsman embrace the finest in college basketball? By swinging a machete haphazardly, of course.
Now that's madness.
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