10 Legitimate reasons for signing a contract to pay your university's then-current-but-on-thin-ice/now-former football coach $3.2 million in deferred payments via a "secret" contract through a company that no one has ever heard of before (and may not even exist)...
1. You have a vivid imagination and like to give all imaginary companies a chance to go Pinocchio and "become a real boy"... err, company.
2. His family is poor and starving and loaves of bread have escalated to astronomical prices.
3. You are out to prove that secrets, secrets are, in fact, fun.
4. You thought the contract you signed to agree to the payment was actually an ACME Joke Contract, which would explode in comic fashion within a matter of minutes.
5. The head coach is Benjamin Linus, the leader of a group on mystical island, who needs the money to bribe a guy who speaks to dead folks. After receiving the cash, the guy who received the bribe will report that Linus isn't on the island to the folks on his offshore freighter.*
*Odds are, few of you understood that, but those that watch Lost hopefully appreciate it.
6. The head coach is also a baseball card dealer and your athletic department desperately needs 3.2 million packs of 1994 Collector's Choice baseball cards.
7. The money will be paid in the form of cursed pirate booty.
8. The money will be paid in the form of Monopoly money.
9. The money will be paid in the form of Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickels.
10. Your luck has run out... Wait, that one doesn't happen until the "secret" is uncovered.
1. You have a vivid imagination and like to give all imaginary companies a chance to go Pinocchio and "become a real boy"... err, company.
2. His family is poor and starving and loaves of bread have escalated to astronomical prices.
3. You are out to prove that secrets, secrets are, in fact, fun.
4. You thought the contract you signed to agree to the payment was actually an ACME Joke Contract, which would explode in comic fashion within a matter of minutes.
5. The head coach is Benjamin Linus, the leader of a group on mystical island, who needs the money to bribe a guy who speaks to dead folks. After receiving the cash, the guy who received the bribe will report that Linus isn't on the island to the folks on his offshore freighter.*
*Odds are, few of you understood that, but those that watch Lost hopefully appreciate it.
6. The head coach is also a baseball card dealer and your athletic department desperately needs 3.2 million packs of 1994 Collector's Choice baseball cards.
7. The money will be paid in the form of cursed pirate booty.
8. The money will be paid in the form of Monopoly money.
9. The money will be paid in the form of Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickels.
10. Your luck has run out... Wait, that one doesn't happen until the "secret" is uncovered.
1 comment:
Your reasons make about as much sense as anything I've come up with.... which is to say, not much sense at all! Don't think we've even started to get even the beginning of the story............ Stay tuned for further developments?
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