Thursday, January 05, 2012

Lousy Mayans

It has become tradition at The Writings to take a chance at the end of each calendar year to look back at significant events. After all, if we don't commemorate the fact that Jesse Chavez gave up three home runs while pitching less than eight innings* for the 2011 Royals, who will?

*Illustration to help those who do not find entertainment in baseball (you poor souls) realize the ineptitude of this stat: If you drank nothing but bottled water for a week, it would be pretty unlikely that you would attempt to take a drink only to completely miss your mouth and ram the bottle directly into your retina. Imagine doing that three times in a week.

The 2011 year-in-review is coming, but something odd happened lately: life.

Weird. I'm definitely not used to that. If that becomes a habit, we're all doomed.

Ah, yes. As for the title of this quick Writing, I'm simply following my only New Year's resolution. In 2012, anything that goes awry (such as not writing) is the fault of the Mayans and their short-sighted calendar. If any of you know a Mayan, please ask if they'll consider printing an addendum that runs through 2082. They can decorate said calendar however they like; pictures of dalmatian puppies, Dilbert cartoons, quotes from Pog collectors (Fact: Mayans loved Pogs*), whatever works. Just have them adjust it so that folks aren't losing their minds in December thinking the world might end or that Wheel of Fortune will be cancelled (which might be the end of the world for some). Thanks in advance.

*Fact: Not a real fact.

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