When you're looking to buy a home, everyone wants to help. Such is the lesson I learned recently.
As I mentioned a couple weeks back, I've decided to enter the housing market for the first time in my near-29 years. It's a fairly big decision, but after 10 years of paying rent/housing fees for dorms, apartments, and condemned structures that a "landlord" attempts to pass of as an apartment*, it's time to own. It's time to have a yard to mow, home projects to think about, and solicitors to turn away. It's time.
*If you read ill-will in that statement, dear reader, congratulations, you're perceptive! Here's a lesson kids: don't sublease for an old friend if the building looks like it might fall over as the result of an ill-timed sneeze.
In attempt to share the news that I now consider myself a prospective home-buyer, I recently posted something about it* to Twitter (and, thanks to the wonder of importing, Facebook). I didn't really expect much of a response. Naturally, my best guess was wrong. Within minutes of posting, I had comments wishing me luck, telling me to enjoy house-hunting, and offering tips on homes to check out. Alas, the strangest response was yet to come.
*Odds are strong that I deemed the comment clever, as I often set that as criteria for anything I post to Twitter... Odds are also strong that - since it came from my head - it really wasn't clever at all.
When I checked Twitter that afternoon, I noticed that a follower had sent me a comment. A female follower.
An admirer?
Not exactly.
The comment was from a girl I once went on a date with. Said date lives in infamy as the strangest I've been on. You see, we met for ice cream and shared awkward conversation (an area of which I'm well-experienced). I did not feel as if things were proceeding horribly (aside from the fact that she mentioned that she had read this very blog, but then outright admitted that she could not even remember the subject of the post she'd read), but after just 45 minutes, she not-so-subtly mentioned that she had to leave soon to let out some hounds that she was dog-sitting. "Soon" can be a relative term, so I figured she might mean after another 20 or 30 minutes... Not five minutes later, she was thanking me for a dish of overpriced ice cream and bolting for the door. Being the gentleman that I am, I caught up and walked her to her car, wading through a stream of confusion with each step. Had I said something offensive? Did these dogs really exist, and - if so - did they suffer from night-blindness? Had I forgotten to wear pants? Was I simply repulsive?
I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt and emailed the date later that week. A response never came. It was a strange turn of events, but there's little about dating that I might deem "normal" or "expected." I've used the situation as an anecdote of dates gone awry since that time.
And now? Well, now she's offered her realty services in helping me find a home.
The moral? Guys, women are only interested in you for your ability to net them commission on the sale of a small home in a rural area.
What, no good? Offensive? Dang it.
Okay, let's try this:
When you're looking to buy a home, EVERYONE wants to help. MOST of it is appreciated.
As I mentioned a couple weeks back, I've decided to enter the housing market for the first time in my near-29 years. It's a fairly big decision, but after 10 years of paying rent/housing fees for dorms, apartments, and condemned structures that a "landlord" attempts to pass of as an apartment*, it's time to own. It's time to have a yard to mow, home projects to think about, and solicitors to turn away. It's time.
*If you read ill-will in that statement, dear reader, congratulations, you're perceptive! Here's a lesson kids: don't sublease for an old friend if the building looks like it might fall over as the result of an ill-timed sneeze.
In attempt to share the news that I now consider myself a prospective home-buyer, I recently posted something about it* to Twitter (and, thanks to the wonder of importing, Facebook). I didn't really expect much of a response. Naturally, my best guess was wrong. Within minutes of posting, I had comments wishing me luck, telling me to enjoy house-hunting, and offering tips on homes to check out. Alas, the strangest response was yet to come.
*Odds are strong that I deemed the comment clever, as I often set that as criteria for anything I post to Twitter... Odds are also strong that - since it came from my head - it really wasn't clever at all.
When I checked Twitter that afternoon, I noticed that a follower had sent me a comment. A female follower.
An admirer?
Not exactly.
The comment was from a girl I once went on a date with. Said date lives in infamy as the strangest I've been on. You see, we met for ice cream and shared awkward conversation (an area of which I'm well-experienced). I did not feel as if things were proceeding horribly (aside from the fact that she mentioned that she had read this very blog, but then outright admitted that she could not even remember the subject of the post she'd read), but after just 45 minutes, she not-so-subtly mentioned that she had to leave soon to let out some hounds that she was dog-sitting. "Soon" can be a relative term, so I figured she might mean after another 20 or 30 minutes... Not five minutes later, she was thanking me for a dish of overpriced ice cream and bolting for the door. Being the gentleman that I am, I caught up and walked her to her car, wading through a stream of confusion with each step. Had I said something offensive? Did these dogs really exist, and - if so - did they suffer from night-blindness? Had I forgotten to wear pants? Was I simply repulsive?
I chose to give her the benefit of the doubt and emailed the date later that week. A response never came. It was a strange turn of events, but there's little about dating that I might deem "normal" or "expected." I've used the situation as an anecdote of dates gone awry since that time.
And now? Well, now she's offered her realty services in helping me find a home.
The moral? Guys, women are only interested in you for your ability to net them commission on the sale of a small home in a rural area.
What, no good? Offensive? Dang it.
Okay, let's try this:
When you're looking to buy a home, EVERYONE wants to help. MOST of it is appreciated.
No comments:
Post a Comment