Let's begin by clarifying one thing: I am the last person that should be giving relationship advice. It's obvious. Such wisdom is even scripted in the Book of Blatantly Obvious, chapter 1, verse 2.*
*What wisdom is contained in chapter 1, verse 1? If you're watching anything with Vin Diesel in it, you have too much time on your hands.
That said, I know this much. I would never pull this move:
That's right, with a baseball flying directly at his girlfriend from 300+ feet away, Bo chose to dive away and leave the lady to fend for herself. It's a move that takes any sort of chivalric movement and mashes it to Dippin' Dots-sized bits. After watching the clip, one might guess that Bo is not the freshest beer in the fridge, yet, this girl could apparently tolerate him for more than two minutes at a time. His way of showing his appreciation? Avoiding her (like he's avoided book-learning) when imminent danger presents itself. After the ball nails his girlfriend in the arm, Bo breaks into the type of laughter usually reserved for the audiences at celebrity roasts.* Bravo.
*Please note the correlation here: Your girlfriend getting his by an object flying 90-miles-per-hour when you could have done something about it: not funny. 98% of sentences uttered at a celebrity roast: not funny.... Thank you for your time.
The spectacle that some might deem "The Dodge of the D-Bag," occurred earlier this week, but the fallout has been quick-hitting. The couple appeared on "The Early Show" this morning and relived the story.*
*If you take the time to watch the clip of "The Early Show" appearance, you're in for a treat. Not only does Harry Smith basically call Bo a giant cotton-headed ninny-muggins, but he carries on with a tangent about how Bo should have caught the ball. When Harry mentions the carnival, I thought for sure he was going to say, "And if a carnie attacks your lady, you grab him by the braided mullet and fight right back." ... Wish you had come through on that one, Harry.
It also turns out that the young couple may not be heading to any more cripplingly depressing Astros game as a pair. They announced, on national television, that they've split. Per the young lady "it's not because of the ball." That may be true, but I'm guessing it may have come up while the two were arguing about who seemed like more of a cliched version of America's young generation while being interviewed during the game. (While I have no doubt that both members of the former couple are quite skilled at putting together thoughtful, intelligent arguments, I'm sure this one was a tie.)
Note to self: Please never wear a ballcap in a fashion so askew, either. You are not now, nor have you ever been, a 90s hip-hop artist.
*What wisdom is contained in chapter 1, verse 1? If you're watching anything with Vin Diesel in it, you have too much time on your hands.
That said, I know this much. I would never pull this move:
That's right, with a baseball flying directly at his girlfriend from 300+ feet away, Bo chose to dive away and leave the lady to fend for herself. It's a move that takes any sort of chivalric movement and mashes it to Dippin' Dots-sized bits. After watching the clip, one might guess that Bo is not the freshest beer in the fridge, yet, this girl could apparently tolerate him for more than two minutes at a time. His way of showing his appreciation? Avoiding her (like he's avoided book-learning) when imminent danger presents itself. After the ball nails his girlfriend in the arm, Bo breaks into the type of laughter usually reserved for the audiences at celebrity roasts.* Bravo.
*Please note the correlation here: Your girlfriend getting his by an object flying 90-miles-per-hour when you could have done something about it: not funny. 98% of sentences uttered at a celebrity roast: not funny.... Thank you for your time.
The spectacle that some might deem "The Dodge of the D-Bag," occurred earlier this week, but the fallout has been quick-hitting. The couple appeared on "The Early Show" this morning and relived the story.*
*If you take the time to watch the clip of "The Early Show" appearance, you're in for a treat. Not only does Harry Smith basically call Bo a giant cotton-headed ninny-muggins, but he carries on with a tangent about how Bo should have caught the ball. When Harry mentions the carnival, I thought for sure he was going to say, "And if a carnie attacks your lady, you grab him by the braided mullet and fight right back." ... Wish you had come through on that one, Harry.
It also turns out that the young couple may not be heading to any more cripplingly depressing Astros game as a pair. They announced, on national television, that they've split. Per the young lady "it's not because of the ball." That may be true, but I'm guessing it may have come up while the two were arguing about who seemed like more of a cliched version of America's young generation while being interviewed during the game. (While I have no doubt that both members of the former couple are quite skilled at putting together thoughtful, intelligent arguments, I'm sure this one was a tie.)
Note to self: Please never wear a ballcap in a fashion so askew, either. You are not now, nor have you ever been, a 90s hip-hop artist.
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