Oh, THOSE Ides of March

According to my calendar, it's mid-March.
According to http://www.dereklarson.blogspot.com/, I haven't written much lately.
According to popular opinion expressed by the poll on the left side of the page, this is the fault of my ghost-writer... Lousy jerk.

Anyway, since I'm blaming this lack of writing for mass (read: single digit) appeal, I can't take guff for the fact that I've been spending entirely too much of my free time running the Kansas City Royals at my whim on a computer game called Baseball Mogul. It's basically SimCity with baseball instead of cities, and lacking disasters (as long as I don't trade for Neifi Perez).

I realize admitting to spending an abundance of time playing this game detracts significantly from my "cool point" account (and I'm already in debt), so I'm also going to ask that you forget that the preceding paragraph was written about me - that was also my ghost-writer... He's a horrible, unseen person.

Anyway, as tends to happen on occasion, after enjoying the weather with a trip through the park (an event that can be summarized quickly: Derek - out of shape; female joggers - mostly in shape; Derek - embarrassed; guys jogging with their shirts off - tools) this evening has found me in front of the television. With tournament week at hand, and Bobby Knight serving as an ESPN analyst, it's a good time to be watching college basketball. Nevertheless, I must take advantage of my thumb dexterity (I'm confident it is above-average... maybe even exceptional) by flipping channels. Such action opens things up to a world of discovery. Highlights so far...

... from Deal or No Deal...

Good news - Tonight's contestant just had her chosen briefcase opened to reveal $1 million.
Bad news - She had sold the case seconds earlier for over $700,000 less... Normally I don't condone complaining about being payed $200,000+ for hanging with Howie Mandel (he created Bobby's World, after all), but that lady has to feel like she just got poked in the eye with a fish hook.

...from The Moment of Truth...

I'm catching this show for the first time, but I gather you just make more money by truthfully answering questions about your personal life - questions that emphasize the "personal" nature more and more as you move along. Why you would go on this show if had something you preferred not be exposed to millions of people is beyond my comprehension. Tonight's "lucky" contestant is Michael - a guy with an apparently checkered (perhaps more complicated than checkered... chessed?) past and a flat top. As far as I know, he has not been asked about his haircut.

The pitcher in this asker-answerer battery asked Michael if he'd had ... uhhh, fantasies... about any of his friends' wives. He answered yes, evoking a bit of a disappointed groan from the audience (good call). Seconds later, the robotic woman voice that passes judgment on the truthiness (credit Stephen Colbert) of each answer confirmed that Michael was telling the truth (I'm not sure what lying about that would have accomplished), and the crowd broke into applause... C'mon, The Moment of Truth audience! I understand that you must not have much going on if you're willing to take the time to attend this show in person, but you just applauded a guy for fantasizing about one of his friends' wives. I realize it's exciting that he was telling the truth, which is the object of the game, but don't let Mrs. Roboto's voice sway your opinion so easily.

... from American Idol...

The remaining contestants are on stage making a mockery of some of The Beatles' hits and I have been reminded why I don't make watching this show a common practice... Sorry for listing this under the "highlights" section, but I have yet to create a "moments that made me wish my cable would go out" section.

... from Rudy...

I can identify with Daniel "Rudy" Ruettiger. I used to get knocked around a lot (read: everyday, constantly for three years) in football practice, too. Unfortunately, I never followed that up by accompanying my hobbit friend on a journey to Mount Doom.


The plan is to get a Royals preview, a general baseball preview, and some NCAA basketball stuff up in the upcoming weeks (one week = seven days, for those unfamiliar). Naturally, this all depends on motivating that sluggard known as my ghost-writer.